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Go ahead, say it. I won't be offended. It's not like I've never heard anybody tell me, "You know, Kerth, sometimes you talk like a real A-word."

It's just that I couldn't help but smile about this big kerfuffle in England after some photos came out showing Kate Middleton wearing little more than a grin while frolicking on an outdoor terrace in full view of a photographer standing on a public road. The photos were scheduled to hit newsstands all across Europe, from Ireland to France and Italy and beyond.

The Royal response was what you would expect it to bea modern-day version of "Off with their media heads!"

Oh, it isn't that the Royals have any objection to journalistic nudity. Most of the European press is free to publish nude photos if they want to.

But not nude photos of the Royals. Even when those Royals flash their regal nuggets in public for all to see.

See, if these were snapshots of Kate the serving girl who pours your tea at the table and asks if you would like a bit more clotted cream for your scones, there would be no problem at all.

But these were not photos of that Kate. No, these were photos of the Kate who became a Royal by marrying a prince named William, a guy who was destined to be king even before he proved himself capable of a successful hiccup or bowel movement.

Oops, there I go again. English Royal tots may be capable of a cute hiccup, but not well, you know. Sorry, your Highness. I know how hard it must be to maintain the image that Royals function without functions like that.

I give credit to the Queen for being honest in her criticism. No, it isn't mere nudity in the press that offends Us, she told the world. It is Our Royal nudity in the press. We can't have that because well, because We Royals are better than all the rest of you. See, it says so right here in our Constitution. We don't even have to prove We're better than you and keep proving it until somebody better comes along. We're born better. And We will stay better to the end of Our lives, when Our children will become King and Queen. Because Our children will always be born better than your children.

She doesn't expect us to understand that kind of clear English logic over here on this side of the Atlantic. After all, our press corps have a field day with the families of our own royals.

Go here to see the original:
The View From Planet Kerth: Still more proof that the crown can be a royal pain