How to be a Democrat, according to Republicans – The Outline
It is one of the oldest truisms in the whole human story that it is not a great idea to take advice from your enemy. Thats why wolves put on sheeps clothing. Its why frogs shouldnt let scorpions hitch rides across rivers. Youre going to get bitten or stung, at best. However, for many American liberal politicians, it seems that listening to your natural adversary remains an irresistible temptation.
Republicans have always loved to lecture liberals on what they should be doing, sometimes adopting the pretense of telling them how to win elections. This always takes the form of encouraging them to be more like Republicans. To an easy mark, the offer of advice might seem to display a lack of self-interest that makes it trustworthy. But in the world of American politics, its a deviously effective strategy. If Republicans can convince Democrats to dilute their identity and abandon their principles, there are two possible results. The first is that they will appear so enfeebled and unreliable to the electorate that they will inevitably lose. The second is that even if they win, they will have become Republicans in the process. Like the scorpion sinking into the river with the frog, Republicans know that this defeat is also in some sense a victory.
Yet Democrats fall into this trap over and over again, a tendency that has risen precipitously with the emergence of the so-called #NeverTrump movement. MSNBC is crawling with Republican talking heads; the op-ed pages of major newspapers regularly allow them to address Democrats in the second person. By adopting the pose that Donald Trump is an aberration, a violation of their ideals, rather than a fairly orthodox Republican president carrying out the partys agenda of plutocracy and white supremacy more belligerently than his predecessors, the most cunning Republicans have won the trust of Democrats desperate to defeat him.
What follows is an inventory of the loudest among them. Democrats: do not listen to these Republicans. They mean to drown you. It is their nature.
Its a family affair for Bill Kistrol, the one-time New York Times op-ed columnist whose father, Irving Kristol, was the architect of neoconservatism. The younger Kristol has far fewer intellectual credentials, in spite of having founded a couple magazines par for the course when youre a professional neocon. He worked for the Reagan and first Bush administrations, and was one of the most vocal supporters of the younger Bushs war in Iraq. His highbrow intellectual heritage makes it no wonder he finds Trump distasteful, in spite of being fairly indistinguishable from him politically, and in spite of his personal responsibility for the growth of the American far right. For his surface-level objection to Trump, he is rewarded with constant MSNBC appearances and adulation from #Resistance Twitter.
Unlike Kristol, Erickson is a more modern kind of demagogue: a talk show host and blogger. He is also an idiot, having once expressed his opinion of the New York Times by posting a photo of a bullet-ridden issue he had literally shot a hole through. In 2016, he personally convened a meeting of conservatives that launched the Never Trump movement, a position he was all too happy to abandon when it finally sunk in that it meant he might have to side with Democrats. In 2016, he wrote a post on his vanity website The Resurgent called I Will Not Vote for Donald Trump, Ever. Last year, he wrote one called "I Support the President." Guess who he's voting for this year?
Frum is a former speechwriter for George Bush, and is best known for coining the phrase Axis of Evil. As one of the most influential advocates of the Bush Doctrine, he deserves a lifetime of exile at best. Instead, he is fted by some as a man of great conscience, for his objections to the Trump presidency. It is shameful that he should feel comfortable showing his face in public, and yet it appears all over cable news. Frum has recently dedicated himself to dictating how Democrats should approach their primary, rather hysterically describing Sen. Bernie Sanders as a Marxist of the old school of dialectical materialism, from the land that time forgot.
Rubin, a far-right columnist at the Washington Post, likes to evoke red-menace vibes that go back multiple generations. She too has dedicated herself to pleading with Democrats that they be harsher on Sanders, and lectures the party with a distinctly schoolmarmish tone. Those in the Never Trump camp who lived through the horror of a demagogic radical taking over their party (now my ex-party) have been speaking up, frantically trying to warn Democrats, she said in a recent column. Nice try, Jennifer! Youre a Republican.
Stephens is a man (or a bug) who perhaps needs no introduction, but for the record he is one of the worst Times columnists in the papers history. Lets not dwell on him, because there is not much to say: he is a moron of the first order, devoid of conscience. He has spent three years calling himself a NeverTrumper, before admitting this year that he will probably not vote for his opponent.
Navarro is a Republican strategist who worked with former Florida Gov. Jeb! Bush and the late Arizona Sen. John McCain, and became famous for (rightly) insisting on using the word pussy on national television in quoting Trump. Her father was literally a member of the Contras, the Nicaraguan death squad that opposed the Sandinista government with the support of the Reagan administration. She seems proud of that, which one should probably take into account when considering her advice.
An undeserving beneficiary of the blogger-to-pundit pipeline, McArdle is a libertarian who used to blog as an Ayn Rand character and now writes for Bloomberg. She loves Italian food and is against fire safety.
As she is fond of reminding you, Meghan McCain is John McCains daughter. She parlayed that filial credential into a position on the panel of The View, an ideal outlet for her uniformed prattle. She has benefited from her fathers persona as the maverick, honorable Republican, a man who was supposedly guided by principled conviction and yet still chose Sarah Palin as his presidential running mate.
Rick Wilson is a Republican consultant responsible for developing TV commercials for Republican candidates. His literal job is helping Republicans win elections.
Ironically best-known for his headwear a rakishly tilted fedora Boot is a special flavor of conservative. He seems motivated almost entirely by imperial bloodlust rather than a general inclination toward traditionalism or laissez-faire economic philosophy. In spite of his love of aggression, Boot has been so dismayed by Trumps ungentlemanly demeanor he has gone as far as to start using liberal terminology like white privilege, eventually making a self-important pronouncement of his departure from the right. Fortunately for him, contemporary liberalism is mostly accommodating to military adventurism, and last time around, he found an ideal candidate in former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. These days, he seems to be getting concerned that a potential leftward shift of the Democratic party might cause a worldwide reduction in civilian casualties.
As John McCains campaign manager, Schmidt is personally responsible for the national fame of Palin, his choice for McCains running mate. Arguably, Palin and the contemporaneous blossoming of the Tea Party are the most consequential precedents to the rise of Trump. Schmidt now goes on MSNBC nearly every day advising on how to resist the president, which is something like asking Joe Camel for advice on how to quit smoking. Democrats: you do not have to listen.
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How to be a Democrat, according to Republicans - The Outline
- Decembers Collection Spotlight: Boston Tea Party Items - Mass.gov - December 4th, 2025 [December 4th, 2025]
- Judge violated ethics rules for ordering teens' detention but not for legislative and Tea Party remarks, court finds - ABA Journal - December 4th, 2025 [December 4th, 2025]
- Cowgirls & Cocktails Tea Party Brings Western Women Together In Style - COWGIRL Magazine - December 4th, 2025 [December 4th, 2025]
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- Dolley Madison high tea party kicks off OFMP capital campaign | The Hawk Eye - Burlington, Iowa - Daily Gate City - December 4th, 2025 [December 4th, 2025]
- Things Turn Shady at Bronwyn Newport's "Spill the Tea Party" - Bravo - December 4th, 2025 [December 4th, 2025]
- In pictures: Charity patron Princess Anne hosts veterans for festive tea party - Forces News - December 4th, 2025 [December 4th, 2025]
- Library to host Girl Scout Teddy Bear Tea Party - The Manchester Mirror - November 24th, 2025 [November 24th, 2025]
- A Tea Party for Jane: Celebrating 250 Years of Austen! - Cincinnati & Hamilton County Public Library - November 24th, 2025 [November 24th, 2025]
- The Nutcracker and an upcoming Sugar Plum Fairy Tea Party - WJHG - November 24th, 2025 [November 24th, 2025]
- Milton Residents Mark Your Calendars as Sign-Ups for the Tea Party with Mrs. Claus Event Open December 1st - Hoodline - November 24th, 2025 [November 24th, 2025]
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- The Democratic Tea Party Is Here - The New Republic - November 7th, 2025 [November 7th, 2025]
- District 5 Celebrates Senior Citizens with Joyful Tea Party Hosted by Councilmember Teri Castillo - Hoodline - November 7th, 2025 [November 7th, 2025]
- Japan Emperor, Empress host tea party for recipients of culture awards - - November 7th, 2025 [November 7th, 2025]
- Samhain Gothic Tea Party in the Cemetary - Venture Richmond - November 3rd, 2025 [November 3rd, 2025]
- How to Host a Regencycore Tea Party - Better Homes & Gardens - November 3rd, 2025 [November 3rd, 2025]
- The 13th Annual Witches Tea Party hosted was a wicked good time - WHIZ - Fox 5 / Marquee Broadcasting - whiznews.com - October 31st, 2025 [October 31st, 2025]
- In Trumps GOP, the once-mighty tea party is hard to find - The Washington Post - October 31st, 2025 [October 31st, 2025]
- We The People: The Edenton Tea Party of 1774 - WITN - October 31st, 2025 [October 31st, 2025]
- Palm Lake Resort residents raise money for charity with Tea Party - News Of The Area - October 31st, 2025 [October 31st, 2025]
- Pink Ribbon Tea Party discusses early detection, breast cancer battles - WSAV-TV - October 28th, 2025 [October 28th, 2025]
- Ann Arbor Call-in/Write-in Tea Party to the University of Michigan - CODEPINK - Women for Peace - October 28th, 2025 [October 28th, 2025]
- No Kings Isnt the Tea Party, But Theres Some Overlap - American Enterprise Institute - AEI - October 26th, 2025 [October 26th, 2025]
- Tina DeVaron Celebrates 20 Years Helming Madeline's Tea Party At The Carlyle - BroadwayWorld.com - October 24th, 2025 [October 24th, 2025]
- Tea party themed Twisted Wonderland cafe opens across Japan this month - Essential Japan - October 24th, 2025 [October 24th, 2025]
- The History of the Tea Party - Forward Kentucky - October 24th, 2025 [October 24th, 2025]
- Michael D Higgins hosts final tea party at the ras as Misneach prepares for new home - The Irish Times - October 24th, 2025 [October 24th, 2025]
- No Kings isnt the Tea Party, but theres some overlap - The Hill - October 23rd, 2025 [October 23rd, 2025]
- No Tea party: Apple pulls women's dating safety app over privacy concerns - AppleInsider - October 23rd, 2025 [October 23rd, 2025]
- Biscuits and bribery: the tea party that caused the first scandal in Oscars history - Far Out Magazine - October 23rd, 2025 [October 23rd, 2025]
- The 'No Kings' protests, like the tea party of 2009, are a warning to Trump: WaPo editorial board - MSNBC News - October 21st, 2025 [October 21st, 2025]
- Opinion | Like the tea party of 2009, No Kings protests are a warning to Trump - The Washington Post - October 21st, 2025 [October 21st, 2025]
- Southampton care home hosts Mad Hatters tea party for residents - Daily Echo - October 21st, 2025 [October 21st, 2025]
- GUEST COLUMN: From the Boston Tea Party to No Kings: Americas 250-year tradition of protest in costume - thelivingstonpost.com - October 21st, 2025 [October 21st, 2025]
- Leah Flores shares how a simple tea party can help fight loneliness and bring joy to homes - WOAI - October 17th, 2025 [October 17th, 2025]
- Girls Tea Party Fascinators Hats Tea Party Butterfly Headband for Girls Wedding 1920s Party Halloween Costume - The San Joaquin Valley Sun - October 17th, 2025 [October 17th, 2025]
- Kinship foster parents celebrated at tea party - AOL.com - October 13th, 2025 [October 13th, 2025]
- Wolverhampton kinship foster parents celebrated at tea party - BBC - October 11th, 2025 [October 11th, 2025]
- Pink tea party brings festive cheer and hope - Knysna-Plett Herald - October 11th, 2025 [October 11th, 2025]
- The Democrats Take a Trick From the Tea Party - The American Conservative - October 11th, 2025 [October 11th, 2025]
- Zhanmai 6 Pcs Girls Tea Party Hats Accessories Set Kids Tea Party Bonnets Hats and Gloves Purses for Girls Dress up Favors - The San Joaquin Valley... - October 9th, 2025 [October 9th, 2025]
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- A 1940s tea party and a wartime tale about the life of Alan Turing - Peterborough Telegraph - October 9th, 2025 [October 9th, 2025]
- Isle of Man carers mark Kinship Care Week with special tea party - Isle of Man Today - October 9th, 2025 [October 9th, 2025]
- Have a haunted Halloween tea party with Poltchageist, Sinistcha, and more in Pokmon GO - GoNintendo - October 7th, 2025 [October 7th, 2025]
- Have a haunted Halloween tea party with Poltchageist, Sinistcha, and more in Pokmon GO! - Pokemon Go - October 7th, 2025 [October 7th, 2025]
- GORGLITTER Women's Mesh One Shoulder Bodycon Maxi Dresses Elegant Summer Cocktail Tea Party Vegas Sundress with Shrugs - The San Joaquin Valley Sun - October 7th, 2025 [October 7th, 2025]
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- Rabbit Tea Party Girls Bathing Suit Swimsuit Swimwear Summer Beach One Piece Swimsuits - The San Joaquin Valley Sun - October 7th, 2025 [October 7th, 2025]
- Variety is the spiced tea of life at Gallerys Tea Party - DiscoverHumboldt - October 7th, 2025 [October 7th, 2025]
- 1 Pairs White Lace Gloves for Wedding Tea Party, Women Short Fingerless Floral Gloves for Tea Party Wedding Prom Halloween - The San Joaquin Valley... - October 4th, 2025 [October 4th, 2025]
- Shutdown fight: Left-wing Democrats take a tea party turn - Washington Examiner - October 4th, 2025 [October 4th, 2025]
- Girls White Gloves for First Communion, Princess, Tea Party 3-12 Years - The San Joaquin Valley Sun - October 4th, 2025 [October 4th, 2025]
- Bohend Tea Party White Fascinators Hats Flower Hat Fancy Lace Hair Clip Wedding Accessories for Girls - The San Joaquin Valley Sun - October 4th, 2025 [October 4th, 2025]
- IBAKOM Girl Sparkly Sequin Dress Glitter Birthday Tea Party Flower Girl Wedding Outfit Teen Formal Pageant Fancy Swing Dress - The San Joaquin Valley... - October 4th, 2025 [October 4th, 2025]
- Mad Hatter's tea party in New Forest offers menopause advice - BBC - October 4th, 2025 [October 4th, 2025]
- This Week's New Releases: Taylor Swift, AFI and Alpha Male Tea Party - Stereoboard.com - October 4th, 2025 [October 4th, 2025]
- Albums Of The Week: Alpha Male Tea Party | Reptilian Brain - Tinnitist - October 4th, 2025 [October 4th, 2025]
- A Match Made In Heaven The Tea Party Explore The Elements Of Fire & Wind - Scenestr - October 4th, 2025 [October 4th, 2025]
- Unique Bowknot Lace Gloves Mesh Gloves for Boys and Girls for Wedding Prom and Tea Party Events - The San Joaquin Valley Sun - October 2nd, 2025 [October 2nd, 2025]
- Branching Out Fashion Show and Tea Party - WKRN News 2 - September 30th, 2025 [September 30th, 2025]
- Plan Your Dream Tea Party And I'll Guess What Your Major/Special Interest Is - BuzzFeed - September 30th, 2025 [September 30th, 2025]
- The Way Forward's Alice in Wonderland tea party at Island cafe a huge success - Yahoo News UK - September 30th, 2025 [September 30th, 2025]
- The Way Forward's Alice in Wonderland tea party at Island cafe a huge success - Isle of Wight County Press - September 30th, 2025 [September 30th, 2025]
- THE TEA PARTY Announce February 2026 Elements Australian Tour - The Rockpit - September 30th, 2025 [September 30th, 2025]
- REVIEW: We tried some of the new items on Boston Tea Party's autumn menu - Salisbury Journal - September 30th, 2025 [September 30th, 2025]
- Downton Abbey Fans Are Treated to Elegant Tea Party and Movie Screening by Majestic Theater - Gettysburg Connection - September 25th, 2025 [September 25th, 2025]
- Michael McDowell: This is the age of Mad Hatter Tea Party politics featuring Donald Trump as the Queen of Hearts - The Irish Times - September 25th, 2025 [September 25th, 2025]
- I tried Boston Tea Party's new menu in Chichester - and I wasnt disappointed - SussexWorld - September 25th, 2025 [September 25th, 2025]
- Catawba County Sheriff, tea party president speak at the Charlie Kirk vigil Monday night - Hickory Daily Record - September 23rd, 2025 [September 23rd, 2025]
- The National throws "The Sorcerer's Scone," Harry Potter themed tea party - KOKH - September 23rd, 2025 [September 23rd, 2025]
- Japan's imperial couple host tea party for British Prince Edward and wife - The Japan Times - September 23rd, 2025 [September 23rd, 2025]
- Japan Imperial Couple Host Tea Party for British Prince Edward, Wife - nippon.com - September 21st, 2025 [September 21st, 2025]
- A Staten Island tea party featured Broadway musicians, vintage teacups and a little Wu Tang - SILive.com - September 19th, 2025 [September 19th, 2025]
- White Fascinator Bow Fascinator For Women Derby Cocktail Wedding Tea Party Church Hat Veils For Women Wedding - roarmag.org - September 19th, 2025 [September 19th, 2025]