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This is a tough subject.

As a trainer, I have a really hard time with social media and the time it takes our kids away from real time with their horsesthe hours and hours wasted on screen time that could be spent in the barn.

Ive lost track of how many times Ive heard I just didnt have time, or I didnt get to it, or I forgot from students. The practice and grooming and loving comes second to the screen, and the other things they have to dohomework, chores, jobsbecome more important than just being quiet with their horse. Im not sure kids even enjoy the little moments anymorethe inviting smell of the barn, the butterfly that their horse is watching, the loving look from their horse.

And then there are the posts. The endless no thought behind what is real, what is appropriate, what is hurtful, and what is just not necessary posts filling up their social media feeds are devastating to our sport.

Take the posts about horses. Why should everyone know something about someone elses horse? Why would anyone want to make fun of another persons horse? Why is it okay to bend the truth about things and for others to read those fabrications as if they are facts?

This sport is so special because of what it can teach a young personthe responsibility, the love, the grit, the hard work, the list goes on and on. As a trainer you need it all to go hand in hand so the rider can be the best of the best. And in real time, not on a screen or in a post.

Im not sure its even possible anymore with the time crunch of this increasingly digital world. Time spent at the barn was once freely given and is near impossible to duplicate. The lessons in patience and observation athletes would learn from watching their horse play with a butterfly or while driving across the country to a show cannot be taught. Its acquired through experience and is what fuels the passion, the drive, the desire to be the best.

You simply cannot replace the real time required, nor can you take back the images and the posts that they consume online.

As a trainer, I know there has to be a balance. I know social media isnt going away. But I feel the balance is too hard for a kid to grasp on their own and that less screen time can only mean more when it comes to riding.

As a judge, I cant help but think that screens are holding up the ring. I spend many minutes and hours in the judges box waiting for a competitor in the ring, but when I look up to see what everyone is doing ringside, theyre inevitably on their phones.

What would they be doing if their phone wasnt there to distract them? Would they be helping others? Would they be working and seeing others work, pushing our young ones to do as they see?

I wonder how we keep our sport alive and thriving in the digital age. The job of a judge is to rate and review the class the best you canand, in turn, you hope to inspire riders and the sport to grow. When you walk into the ring and the judge verifies where you are compared to the competition that day, it drives you to work and get better, to move to another division, etc.

But when you are distracted by a constant stream of social posts that are maybe not entirely correct or dont show the whole picture, what toll does that take, particularly on the mental health of children?

If phones werent within reach of every fingertip, would kids watch each others trips more? Would they learn from sitting at the ring? Would they actually see the judges perspective? Would there be less negativity about the judging if they watched all the trips in a class and understood what mistakes were made and why the ribbons went way they did? That is the piece that you cant always teach, but you get when youre in real time!

As a mom, the worst hat I wear is my social media police hat. You want your kid to be social and have friends and not be weird. You also want your kid to be their own person and to do what they love and contribute positively to society.

I know, as a mom, that working with a live animal and all that comes with that teaches our kids more, Id argue, than any other sport. Beyond the grit and determination and strategy of competition, horses teach empathy and resilience, failure and sacrifice, patience and perseverance. Horses teach ALL life lessons. But Im not sure kids learn from it now like we did when we had literally nothing else to do.

I have always pushed my kids to not have any screen time at all and, I can tell you, that doesnt work. So then you try to understand their side and get involvedand you experience the feeling it gives you and you dont want a kid to feel that way.

You hear that social media can help kids make connections they may not have otherwise. It can give them an identity in the horse world and help promote them. Networking is not only word of mouth anymore. Its social media spreading the word.

And, at the same time, it means they now have to grow up so fast! They have to understand how not to compare themselves to others, how not to get hurt by posts that arent truly directed at themhow to stay real in a virtual world.

As a parent, you have to teach them all of it before they go down a bad path of rage and devastation that social media can lead to. Kids dont get to live and learn anymore. They have to learn first. And as parents, we have to give them the tools to navigate that.

I know social media isnt going away. I also know itd be better for everyoneour kids, our horses, our sportif less time was lost to screens and if we we used social media more as a tool than a crutch.

Horses teach the same life lessonsand in a better wayall by themselves.

Dana Hart Callanan is a successful hunter, jumper and equitation coach, an R judge, and a sales broker. In this column, she answerscommon questions about A level sport.

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Q&A: What Is Social Media Doing to Our Kids and Our Sport? - Horse Network