Beyond The Likes A Struggle To Rediscover Real Life, Away From The Online Hive – MensXP.com
Back in the late 90s to early 2000s the internet and its artefacts were still in its nascency. Back then the overall impression of the world wide web was filled with intrigue, not fatigue. Back then we waited in agony to download music off illicit websites certain to willingly lace our PCs with the nastiest of viruses; while we prayed on bended knees to any-and-every deity that our dial-up connections survive the errant phone call from nosy-nobodies.
With the turn of the century came a slew of social media sites: Myspace, Hi5, Bebo, Orkut, Facebook, Twitter and the likes. They promised a new world, where long-lost high-school friends could connect with each other across continents. Where your friends and you could find solace in sharing every bit of your life with each other. Where everyone was truly connected to each other, and perhaps happier for it? Such was the allure of social media that even primarily image and video based platforms such as YouTube and Instagram eventually bent over backwards to integrate its features within their platforms.
iStock
As I see it, such sites providing a human connect heralded the era of hyper-socialisation in the digital realm. Finally, those who had long dreamt of harnessing the power of the internet to turn the world into a global village had found their wildest dreams come true. But in hindsight, those were the very hands that creaked open Pandoras box.
Many foresaw the internet boom back then, but no one could have predicted just how ominously omnipresent the digital landscape would become in our day-to-day lives. Nearly 20 years later, we are glued to our mobiles, tablets and laptops. Inseparable from our online avatars. Our devices, just a step away from becoming full-fledged organic appendages. Instant gratification has become the name of the game.
iStock
Much has been said and written about our constant interconnectedness brought about by the online world. Weve come a long way since the halcyon days of sporadic emails, clunky chat messengers, cringe-inducing online avatars and noisy dial-up modems. Were all living our virtual lives in the digital autobahn baby, all without any of the necessary safety measures. What started off as a seemingly innocuous endeavour in global interconnectedness has now become a worryingly vital part of daily life, for many if not all.
There are several reports and research documenting the detrimental impact of social media on our mental health. This one states, Intense use of SNS (Social Networking Sites) including using those in odd hours were found to be significantly associated with depression and anxiety. Another one claims prolonged social media use has been linked to biological and psychological indicators associated with poor physical health.
iStock
While the allure of being constantly online is hard to resist, theres potentially something far more sinister pulling at our strings, like a ventriloquist beneath the hood of our favourite sites. Natasha Schll the author of Addiction by Design claims that several social media sites use methods similar to the gambling industry to keep users on their sites, she adds, In the online economy, revenue is a function of continuous consumer attention which is measured in clicks and time spent. So, dont be too hard on yourself if you find yourself obsessively swiping through an endless rabbit hole of reels, memes and photo dumps. Some of it is by design.
iStock
However, this level of connectivity comes at a steep price. The incessant notifications and perpetual distractions can leave us feeling overwhelmed and disconnected from our immediate surroundings. Not only that, but social networking sites can also present an illusion of perfection that is usually untrue, which in turn can breed a host of body image issues. Moreover, we can often find ourselves caught in a delicate dance between staying connected and yearning for a moment of respite. A futile jig, where neither is achieved in the end.
Experts suggest our time on social media and social networking sites be limited to just 30 minutes. But you and I know that our numbers make for a far poorer reading than that. In my case, my phone usage from a couple of weeks ago shows I spent nearly 3-5 hours online daily. Now, I can try and justify it by chalking it off as a career hazard, but that would just be avoiding the alarmingly-sized elephant in the room: Im chronically online and something needs to be done about it.
From the moment my day begins, till I retire for the day, my mind is hooked on to a world that isnt tethered to the real realm. Beyond research and reports, personally, I find myself increasingly distracted, irritable and exhausted on days when I had to wade through the murky waters of social media. Much to the chagrin of my IRL (in real life) people, who for no fault of their own, found themselves interacting with a husk of a person.
Kavya Film Company
Now, before anyone comes to the conclusion that Im some doomsayer of social media, let me clarify that it is a powerful tool, especially when used for good. A pivotal scene from Jude Anthany Josephs recently released film 2018 recreates a real life instance of the brilliance of social media quite powerfully. During the 2018 Kerala Floods, the government found themselves critically short-staffed to handle a disaster of such magnitude. Lets not forget that it was the worst flood in the states history in nearly a century. Cue, enthusiastic Malayali youngsters who created WhatsApp groups to recruit volunteers for the relief and rescue efforts.
iStock
Naturally, there was a deluge of fake news too, but these WhatsApp groups effectively transformed into mobile control rooms wherein volunteers tried their best to screen out any tips received, before passing on information that was accurate and relevant. Most importantly, rescuers received help from thousands of youngsters at a time when official communications were overwhelmed thanks to the accessibility of WhatsApp and social networking platforms like Facebook and Instagram.
During the Covid19 pandemic, sites like YouTube, Instagram and Facebook became hotspots for virtual gatherings at a time of social distancing. Clubhouse was another app which took off during the lockdown, as it helped thousands, if not millions, of isolated people to interact with other humans.
Missing persons have also been found through the power of social media. Aside from that, these platforms are a great tool to explore ones creative senses, champion activism and even find love (if youre into that). So its not all doom and gloom in the digital realm. So, how do we strike a perfect balance?
At a time when everyone is online, moving offline feels like a privilege, if not an act of rebellion. Due to its overwhelming presence in all factors of life, taking your attention offline often can also seem like a deliberate attempt to move against the grain. But so be it, if thats what it takes to take care of oneself.
I wouldnt call myself a chronically online person, says Ishaan*, a practising lawyer, however, things changed after the pandemic where I had nothing to do but be online, even courtrooms had shifted online. He adds, I dont know (when it began), but I remember getting into constant arguments online, at the slightest hint of a trigger.
iStock
I found myself becoming hypersensitive in real life too. Picking fights and getting into unwarranted arguments. I think thats when I decided to take stock of the impact my digital life was having on my real life he concludes.
Ishaan is one of many who have begun to re-negotiate their relationship with social media. And as expected, like any other addiction, it hasnt been an easy path. It took him several months and numerous ups and downs, to gain some control over his online activities. However, he feels it's all for the better, as he finds himself less irate and more present in the moment. Something that had been a fever dream for him for several years.
Beyond the digital landscape, it is crucial to find anchors in our actual physical world, especially for people of the generation that was raised by the internet. Finding a sense of community, fresh hobbies and a digital detox, are among several suggestions prescribed online (the irony isnt lost on me).
iStock
As for me, I tried a digital detox last year wherein I deleted all social media apps off my phone for 3 months. I had the bright idea of going cold turkey and not too long after I began noticing the physical manifestations of my chronic online behaviour. Like a forlorn lover, my sorry thumbs twiddled away in search of apps that had long been binned. I found the intensity of these physical sensations ceased (though not entirely) after a couple of weeks, during which I took to old hobbies and interests like writing songs and working out. The biggest realisation from the detox was actually finding control of those phantasmal hours that were lost to endless doom scrolling.
iStock
Funnily, after 3 months I reinstalled the apps for work. And no sooner, I returned to my previously wired-self once again. I managed to be mindful of my usage for a grand total of 10 days, after which I was back among my old habits.
For better or for worse, this chronically online world is our fait accompli. And were in for a bumpy ride.
*name changed due to privacy reasons.
Excerpt from:
Beyond The Likes A Struggle To Rediscover Real Life, Away From The Online Hive - MensXP.com
- South Brunswick Board of Education VP Removed from Committees Due to Social Media Posts on Halal Foods - TAPinto - June 7th, 2025 [June 7th, 2025]
- How social media is giving wings to upward mobility dreams, spurring sexual abuse - The Federal - June 7th, 2025 [June 7th, 2025]
- Shes made it her business to show companies how to use social media to stand out - Providence Business News - June 7th, 2025 [June 7th, 2025]
- Introducing Bounce, a tool to move your following between Bluesky and Mastodon - TechCrunch - June 7th, 2025 [June 7th, 2025]
- Bonfire's new software lets users build their own social communities, free from platform control - TechCrunch - June 7th, 2025 [June 7th, 2025]
- Chinas RedNote sees valuation soar with backing from GSR Ventures - South China Morning Post - June 7th, 2025 [June 7th, 2025]
- The forgotten social networking site that wrecked and rekindled relationships - Metro.co.uk - June 7th, 2025 [June 7th, 2025]
- Trump vs. Elon Musk: The Battle of Giants in Politics and Social Media - asianewsnetwork.net - June 7th, 2025 [June 7th, 2025]
- Junior Olioti is a Tattooed Hunk We're Following on Social Media - EDGE Media Network - June 7th, 2025 [June 7th, 2025]
- From disgusting abomination to crazy: Trump and Musk in social media brawl - The Straits Times - June 7th, 2025 [June 7th, 2025]
- Bluesky is most definitely alive and kicking - Fast Company - June 1st, 2025 [June 1st, 2025]
- The Role of Social Media in Cartel Recruitment - CSIS | Center for Strategic and International Studies - June 1st, 2025 [June 1st, 2025]
- Tether CEO Paolo Ardoino Highlights Facebook-Level Growth, Bitcoin as Social Network, Holds 100,000+ Bitcoin and 50 Tons of Gold - The Defiant - June 1st, 2025 [June 1st, 2025]
- Social Platforms for Commerce Market Set to Hit USD 12,459.32 billion by 2034, Expanding at a CAGR of 26.4% - openPR.com - June 1st, 2025 [June 1st, 2025]
- So-hee posted a message on her social network service (SNS), saying, "I tried to get attention by ig.. - - June 1st, 2025 [June 1st, 2025]
- Texas governor signs online safety law in blow to Apple and Google - BBC - May 28th, 2025 [May 28th, 2025]
- Having a strong social network more resilient to symptoms of anxiety and depression - Her.ie - May 28th, 2025 [May 28th, 2025]
- Neither Netflix nor social networking - a study of more than 45,000 young people confirms that scrolling through screens at bedtime increases the risk... - May 15th, 2025 [May 15th, 2025]
- Airbnb Wants to Sell You a Day With Sabrina Carpenter or Patrick Mahomes (And Rethink Social Media, Too) - The Hollywood Reporter - May 15th, 2025 [May 15th, 2025]
- Pinterest finally admits mass bans were a mistake caused by an internal error - TechCrunch - May 15th, 2025 [May 15th, 2025]
- How a social network is bringing people together in increasingly divisive times - PBS - May 10th, 2025 [May 10th, 2025]
- Republicans have become more likely since 2024 to trust information from news outlets, social media - Pew Research Center - May 10th, 2025 [May 10th, 2025]
- 10 reasons why banning social media for New Zealanders under 16 is a bad idea and will affect adults too - The Conversation - May 10th, 2025 [May 10th, 2025]
- UNC Social Media - The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill - May 10th, 2025 [May 10th, 2025]
- If social media can flip fitness tips into an eating disorder, California law needs to intervene - CalMatters - May 10th, 2025 [May 10th, 2025]
- Social networking sites use and life satisfaction: a moderated mediation model of e-health literacy, fatigue, uncertainty, and stress - BMC Psychology - May 10th, 2025 [May 10th, 2025]
- Social network brings people together in divisive times - THIRTEEN - New York Public Media - May 10th, 2025 [May 10th, 2025]
- 1965 WVU Football Throwback Uniform Unveiled Monday on Social Media - West Virginia University Athletics - May 10th, 2025 [May 10th, 2025]
- Trump Says U.S. Will Impose More Sanctions on Russia if It Does Not Agree to an Extended Truce - The New York Times - May 10th, 2025 [May 10th, 2025]
- I Signed Up for 15 Dating AppsThese Were the Best Ones - glamour.com - May 10th, 2025 [May 10th, 2025]
- Sales End Tonight! This Is Your Last Chance To Secure A Copy Of One Billion Users, The Social Media Card Game - Techdirt. - May 10th, 2025 [May 10th, 2025]
- The Clock Is Ticking! Get Your Copy Of Our Social Media Card Game Before Its Too Late - Techdirt. - May 10th, 2025 [May 10th, 2025]
- New FTC Filing Shows Meta Knew It Was Losing the Social Media Race from TikTok - TECHi - May 10th, 2025 [May 10th, 2025]
- New court filing shows that Meta execs agreed that Facebook was losing to TikTok - TechCrunch - May 10th, 2025 [May 10th, 2025]
- Social media in 2025 is nothing like it was in 2015 - The Canadian Jewish News - May 10th, 2025 [May 10th, 2025]
- Veris Health Network's 'Report This Ad' Reaches the Invisible Frontline of Social Media - Little Black Book | LBBOnline - May 10th, 2025 [May 10th, 2025]
- Meta blocks major Muslim Instagram page in India amid rising conflict - The Guardian - May 10th, 2025 [May 10th, 2025]
- Which social network is best for small accounts? The best algorithms for growing without paying - Revista Merca2.0 - May 3rd, 2025 [May 3rd, 2025]
- US Enforces Tougher Visa Checks With Mandatory Disclosure Of Social Media Accounts From The Last Five Years - Travel And Tour World - May 3rd, 2025 [May 3rd, 2025]
- How hard is it to balance police work with social medias influence? - School News Network - May 3rd, 2025 [May 3rd, 2025]
- Polis veto on social media bill stands after lawmakers failed to override - KDVR - May 3rd, 2025 [May 3rd, 2025]
- FTC v. Meta live: updates from the battle for Instagram and WhatsApp - The Verge - May 3rd, 2025 [May 3rd, 2025]
- Heineken Turns Anti-Social - Media, That Is 04/29/2025 - MediaPost - May 2nd, 2025 [May 2nd, 2025]
- Heineken taps Joe Jonas to ditch social media and pour into real connections - Marketing-Interactive - May 2nd, 2025 [May 2nd, 2025]
- Europeans are leaving the social network Mask X en masse - Mezha.Media - May 2nd, 2025 [May 2nd, 2025]
- Elon Musks X social network lost 10% of its users from Europe in six months. Reasons - - May 2nd, 2025 [May 2nd, 2025]
- Heineken campaign imagines an influencer crisis in a world without social media followers - Campaign Brief - May 2nd, 2025 [May 2nd, 2025]
- Joe Jonas and Dude With Sign Team Up to Celebrate Life Off Social Media - That Eric Alper - May 2nd, 2025 [May 2nd, 2025]
- Joe Jonas and Heineken bring in a social media apocalypse in new ad - afaqs! - May 2nd, 2025 [May 2nd, 2025]
- Divisive forces spreading hate on social media must be identified, dealt with firmly: Mehbooba Mufti - asianewsnetwork.net - May 2nd, 2025 [May 2nd, 2025]
- Socontra: social network for AI agent-to-agent interaction set to automate online shopping - Eagle-Tribune - May 2nd, 2025 [May 2nd, 2025]
- Survey: More than four in 10 teens say social media harms their sleep - The Star - May 2nd, 2025 [May 2nd, 2025]
- Mark Zuckerberg Says Social Media Is Over - The New Yorker - April 25th, 2025 [April 25th, 2025]
- Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are 'grateful' that Prince Archie and Princess Lilibet are too young for social media - Business Insider - April 25th, 2025 [April 25th, 2025]
- Morgan Stanley believed Google would rival Facebook if the search giant could beat Mark Zuckerberg to scooping up WhatsApp - Fortune - April 25th, 2025 [April 25th, 2025]
- Australian leaders vow to stand firm on social media age limits as election nears - Reuters - April 25th, 2025 [April 25th, 2025]
- My Company Competed Against Facebook. Here's What Happened | Opinion - Newsweek - April 25th, 2025 [April 25th, 2025]
- Layboard Launches Innovative Social Network for Job Searching and Career Growth - Reuters - April 25th, 2025 [April 25th, 2025]
- Abrego Garcia family flees to safe house after Trump DHS posts home address on social media - The Real News Network - April 25th, 2025 [April 25th, 2025]
- Opinion: Morning routines are a myth and serve as social media gimmicks - lsureveille.com - April 25th, 2025 [April 25th, 2025]
- Gen Zs Underground Social Network Just Went National And Its Blowing Up - Forbes - April 25th, 2025 [April 25th, 2025]
- Fans React to Jameson Williams Not Following Lions on Social Media - Sports Illustrated - April 25th, 2025 [April 25th, 2025]
- OpenAI may be creating a new social media platform with AI-generated images - Tech Edition - April 25th, 2025 [April 25th, 2025]
- B3 partner with Reach Labs to launch user acquisition platform and GameChain - VentureBeat - April 25th, 2025 [April 25th, 2025]
- OpenAIs Reportedly Exploring Its Own AI-Based Social Network - Social Media Today - April 16th, 2025 [April 16th, 2025]
- OpenAI launches its Social Network: the new frontier of the data war - The Cryptonomist - April 16th, 2025 [April 16th, 2025]
- OpenAI is reportedly developing its own X-like social media platform - TechCrunch - April 16th, 2025 [April 16th, 2025]
- What Meta stands to lose if the FTC wins - Quartz - April 16th, 2025 [April 16th, 2025]
- Instagram and Facebook are hardly social media apps anymore. Here's the proof. - Business Insider - April 16th, 2025 [April 16th, 2025]
- FTC Antitrust Case Against Meta Heads to Trial This Week - Social Media Today - April 16th, 2025 [April 16th, 2025]
- OpenAI might be building its own social network, and we really hope they don't - TechRadar - April 16th, 2025 [April 16th, 2025]
- OpenAI Takes On Elon Musk By Creating Its Own Social Network! - Cointribune - April 16th, 2025 [April 16th, 2025]
- OpenAI is building its own social network to rival Elon Musk's X - Crypto Briefing - April 16th, 2025 [April 16th, 2025]
- OpenAI reportedly creating its own social network to take on X - Tom's Guide - April 16th, 2025 [April 16th, 2025]
- Behind the landmark trial that could reshape Metas future with Instagram - Los Angeles Times - April 16th, 2025 [April 16th, 2025]
- OpenAI is quietly working on a social network similar to Twitter, powered by ChatGPT - TechSpot - April 16th, 2025 [April 16th, 2025]
- OpenAI Reportedly Developing Social Media Platform Amid Ongoing Feud Between Musk, Altman - BW Businessworld - April 16th, 2025 [April 16th, 2025]
- OpenAI braced to challenge Elon Musks X with new social network - The Times - April 16th, 2025 [April 16th, 2025]
- Meta faces antitrust claims at trial over Instagram and WhatsApp ownership - The Guardian - April 16th, 2025 [April 16th, 2025]
- Like Musk, but with ChatGPT: OpenAI is working on its own social network similar to X - ITC.ua - April 16th, 2025 [April 16th, 2025]