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Back in the late 90s to early 2000s the internet and its artefacts were still in its nascency. Back then the overall impression of the world wide web was filled with intrigue, not fatigue. Back then we waited in agony to download music off illicit websites certain to willingly lace our PCs with the nastiest of viruses; while we prayed on bended knees to any-and-every deity that our dial-up connections survive the errant phone call from nosy-nobodies.

With the turn of the century came a slew of social media sites: Myspace, Hi5, Bebo, Orkut, Facebook, Twitter and the likes. They promised a new world, where long-lost high-school friends could connect with each other across continents. Where your friends and you could find solace in sharing every bit of your life with each other. Where everyone was truly connected to each other, and perhaps happier for it? Such was the allure of social media that even primarily image and video based platforms such as YouTube and Instagram eventually bent over backwards to integrate its features within their platforms.

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As I see it, such sites providing a human connect heralded the era of hyper-socialisation in the digital realm. Finally, those who had long dreamt of harnessing the power of the internet to turn the world into a global village had found their wildest dreams come true. But in hindsight, those were the very hands that creaked open Pandoras box.

Many foresaw the internet boom back then, but no one could have predicted just how ominously omnipresent the digital landscape would become in our day-to-day lives. Nearly 20 years later, we are glued to our mobiles, tablets and laptops. Inseparable from our online avatars. Our devices, just a step away from becoming full-fledged organic appendages. Instant gratification has become the name of the game.

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Much has been said and written about our constant interconnectedness brought about by the online world. Weve come a long way since the halcyon days of sporadic emails, clunky chat messengers, cringe-inducing online avatars and noisy dial-up modems. Were all living our virtual lives in the digital autobahn baby, all without any of the necessary safety measures. What started off as a seemingly innocuous endeavour in global interconnectedness has now become a worryingly vital part of daily life, for many if not all.

There are several reports and research documenting the detrimental impact of social media on our mental health. This one states, Intense use of SNS (Social Networking Sites) including using those in odd hours were found to be significantly associated with depression and anxiety. Another one claims prolonged social media use has been linked to biological and psychological indicators associated with poor physical health.

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While the allure of being constantly online is hard to resist, theres potentially something far more sinister pulling at our strings, like a ventriloquist beneath the hood of our favourite sites. Natasha Schll the author of Addiction by Design claims that several social media sites use methods similar to the gambling industry to keep users on their sites, she adds, In the online economy, revenue is a function of continuous consumer attention which is measured in clicks and time spent. So, dont be too hard on yourself if you find yourself obsessively swiping through an endless rabbit hole of reels, memes and photo dumps. Some of it is by design.

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However, this level of connectivity comes at a steep price. The incessant notifications and perpetual distractions can leave us feeling overwhelmed and disconnected from our immediate surroundings. Not only that, but social networking sites can also present an illusion of perfection that is usually untrue, which in turn can breed a host of body image issues. Moreover, we can often find ourselves caught in a delicate dance between staying connected and yearning for a moment of respite. A futile jig, where neither is achieved in the end.

Experts suggest our time on social media and social networking sites be limited to just 30 minutes. But you and I know that our numbers make for a far poorer reading than that. In my case, my phone usage from a couple of weeks ago shows I spent nearly 3-5 hours online daily. Now, I can try and justify it by chalking it off as a career hazard, but that would just be avoiding the alarmingly-sized elephant in the room: Im chronically online and something needs to be done about it.

From the moment my day begins, till I retire for the day, my mind is hooked on to a world that isnt tethered to the real realm. Beyond research and reports, personally, I find myself increasingly distracted, irritable and exhausted on days when I had to wade through the murky waters of social media. Much to the chagrin of my IRL (in real life) people, who for no fault of their own, found themselves interacting with a husk of a person.

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Now, before anyone comes to the conclusion that Im some doomsayer of social media, let me clarify that it is a powerful tool, especially when used for good. A pivotal scene from Jude Anthany Josephs recently released film 2018 recreates a real life instance of the brilliance of social media quite powerfully. During the 2018 Kerala Floods, the government found themselves critically short-staffed to handle a disaster of such magnitude. Lets not forget that it was the worst flood in the states history in nearly a century. Cue, enthusiastic Malayali youngsters who created WhatsApp groups to recruit volunteers for the relief and rescue efforts.

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Naturally, there was a deluge of fake news too, but these WhatsApp groups effectively transformed into mobile control rooms wherein volunteers tried their best to screen out any tips received, before passing on information that was accurate and relevant. Most importantly, rescuers received help from thousands of youngsters at a time when official communications were overwhelmed thanks to the accessibility of WhatsApp and social networking platforms like Facebook and Instagram.

During the Covid19 pandemic, sites like YouTube, Instagram and Facebook became hotspots for virtual gatherings at a time of social distancing. Clubhouse was another app which took off during the lockdown, as it helped thousands, if not millions, of isolated people to interact with other humans.

Missing persons have also been found through the power of social media. Aside from that, these platforms are a great tool to explore ones creative senses, champion activism and even find love (if youre into that). So its not all doom and gloom in the digital realm. So, how do we strike a perfect balance?

At a time when everyone is online, moving offline feels like a privilege, if not an act of rebellion. Due to its overwhelming presence in all factors of life, taking your attention offline often can also seem like a deliberate attempt to move against the grain. But so be it, if thats what it takes to take care of oneself.

I wouldnt call myself a chronically online person, says Ishaan*, a practising lawyer, however, things changed after the pandemic where I had nothing to do but be online, even courtrooms had shifted online. He adds, I dont know (when it began), but I remember getting into constant arguments online, at the slightest hint of a trigger.

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I found myself becoming hypersensitive in real life too. Picking fights and getting into unwarranted arguments. I think thats when I decided to take stock of the impact my digital life was having on my real life he concludes.

Ishaan is one of many who have begun to re-negotiate their relationship with social media. And as expected, like any other addiction, it hasnt been an easy path. It took him several months and numerous ups and downs, to gain some control over his online activities. However, he feels it's all for the better, as he finds himself less irate and more present in the moment. Something that had been a fever dream for him for several years.

Beyond the digital landscape, it is crucial to find anchors in our actual physical world, especially for people of the generation that was raised by the internet. Finding a sense of community, fresh hobbies and a digital detox, are among several suggestions prescribed online (the irony isnt lost on me).

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As for me, I tried a digital detox last year wherein I deleted all social media apps off my phone for 3 months. I had the bright idea of going cold turkey and not too long after I began noticing the physical manifestations of my chronic online behaviour. Like a forlorn lover, my sorry thumbs twiddled away in search of apps that had long been binned. I found the intensity of these physical sensations ceased (though not entirely) after a couple of weeks, during which I took to old hobbies and interests like writing songs and working out. The biggest realisation from the detox was actually finding control of those phantasmal hours that were lost to endless doom scrolling.

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Funnily, after 3 months I reinstalled the apps for work. And no sooner, I returned to my previously wired-self once again. I managed to be mindful of my usage for a grand total of 10 days, after which I was back among my old habits.

For better or for worse, this chronically online world is our fait accompli. And were in for a bumpy ride.

*name changed due to privacy reasons.

Excerpt from:
Beyond The Likes A Struggle To Rediscover Real Life, Away From The Online Hive - MensXP.com