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The Kansas GOP zombies have returned.

These decayed corpses, shambling through the marble hallways of the Statehouse, dont hunger for brains. Instead, they crave discredited policy proposals from the past, outdated social issues and the return of their necrotic leader: Sam Brownback.

As anyone who has seen a zombie movie knows, zombies can be dealt with fairly easily if folks keep their wits about them and act rationally. Above all, dont try to reason with zombies they want what they want without regard for empathy, logic or common sense. Easier said than done, I know.

Wednesday showed the zombies advancing on two fronts.

One batch of the undead touted a platform proposal from the Kansas Republican Party. In the leaked document, the party denounces same-sex marriage, abortion and gun control, not to mention gender reassignment surgery and Medicaid expansion. Never mind that gay marriage has been legal since 2015 thats nine years of happy couples tying the knot or that 92,000 LGBTQ+ people live in the state (according to the Movement Advancement Project).

These zombies want to party like its 2004 and George W. Bush has just called for a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage. Sure, the stance sends a horrible message to the young people that employers desperately want to attract and retain, but zombies have a reputation for not thinking things through.

A second batch of zombies decided Wednesday that it would be a dandy idea to pass a flat tax. Their hated human enemy, Democratic Gov. Laura Kelly, had stolen headlines with a genuinely bipartisan tax plan last week, so they were going to regain control of the narrative. Their plan? Ram through a tax scheme that promises to return the deficits of Brownbacks fiscal experiment. (I never tire of reminding folks that he once polled as the United States least-popular governor.)

That doesnt matter, though! The zombies hunger for succulent tax cuts.

They want them even though Senate President Ty Masterson couldnt wrangle a veto-proof majority last year and appears to be short of the necessary votes this year, too. They want them enough to cram the legislation in a shell, hold an unlisted hearing, stream it online with a 2021 date and suspend normal order. The House eagerly followed suit on Thursday.

One might think that Kansas would want to stay fiscally responsible and plan for the future, but zombies, yknow? They lumber along mindlessly.

If zombies are dead, how can they move fast? asked George Romero, the filmmaker behind Night of the Living Dead and creator of the modern zombie mythos. My guys dont run. They never have and they never will. Theyre just lumbering oafs that are easy to dispose of unless you make a mistake.

Stepping back from metaphor for a moment, I just dont get it.

Same-sex marriage, abortion and Medicaid expansion receive overwhelming public support. Does the Kansas Republican Party platform committee really want to pick a fight with the states own people? Kelly won two terms as governor largely because of Brownbacks catastrophic mismanagement of the state economy. Do leaders really think they can bully the governor and sensible senators into submission over yet another dumb tax plan?

None of it makes sense. Sure, you can construct some wide-angle justifications. A handful of outspoken social conservatives never tire of targeting LBGTQ+ folks. Rich people will spend whatever it takes to rig the tax code in their favor. But a party led by sensible people, people whose brains havent been consumed by zombie fungus, would comprehend whats popular and whats possible and react accordingly.

Most Kansans dont want this stuff. Most legislators dont want this stuff.

Yet the zombies shamble forward, devouring all good sense in their path. They want what they want and they keep coming, no matter what.

Special thanks to former dean of Kansas lobbyists Tom Witt, who talked about zombie proposals a couple of years ago. I wrote about them then and revived the concept while putting this column together. Thanks, Tom.

Clay Wirestone is Kansas Reflector opinion editor. Through its opinion section, Kansas Reflector works to amplify the voices of people who are affected by public policies or excluded from public debate. Find information, including how to submit your own commentary, here.

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Dawn of the misled: Zombie Republican proposals lurch across the Kansas landscape - Kansas Reflector