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Dear Amy: My husband, although usually kind and good-willed, never follows through on his word. He will pump up an upcoming celebration with statements like, "It will be the best night of your life," or "You're going to love your birthday present," or even, "I'm going to put so much effort into this!"

When the big day arrives, there have been no plans, no gifts -- no thought. I'm usually pretty good at holding back excitement now or kindly reminding him not to say something unless he follows through, but it continues.

The worst was our wedding. I had explained to him the tradition of the bride and groom exchanging small gifts before the wedding, and reminded him of simple but thoughtful ideas for me (a book, a card, flowers).

The big day came, and I gave him a very thoughtful gift but received nothing in return. I later asked why he hadn't done anything when he knew I had something for him. His answer was simply, "Sorry, I guess I should have."

Am I being too petty, or is there a way to kindly tell him to be more realistic with his celebrations? -- Irked Wife

Dear Irked: I feel for your husband. His intentions are great but he hasn't mastered the art of managing expectations. Your wedding tradition was what you wanted. You raised the stakes there, and he responded with passive aggression or simple performance anxiety and paralysis. And then you let him know he failed you. On your wedding day.

I feel for you too. You're always having to modulate your expectations and then manage your disappointment (and correct him).

Your husband's gift to you is in the sheer grandiosity of his intentions. That's his gift. Accept this. Then look to the small things he does well, and appreciate these gestures as grand declarations of love.

Send questions via e-mail to askamy@tribune.com or by mail to Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611.

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Ask Amy: Don't press husband on celebrations

If theres a bright side for Red Wings and Maple Leafs fans now that the 2013 Winter Classics been canceled, its this:

The NHL will try to make up for it in 2014.

Thats the word from the Associated Press today as reports claim the league will re-schedule the Detroit-Toronto game for Jan. 1, 2014, to be played at Michigan Stadium.

Its no surprise the NHL would make this move.

To take the game away from Detroit/Michigan and not give it back would be a public relations nightmare. Aside from the prestige of hosting such an event, theres a business side to the Classic as well last year, the NHL estimated the game in Philadelphia brought in an economic impact of $30-$35 million.

It would have a tremendous impact, Detroit Sports Commission executive director Dave Beachnau said of the 2013 Winter Classic. That time of the year, which is traditionally a slower period for downtown hotels and the region from a visitors perspective, certainly itd be a great shot in the arm.

Theres also a number of ancillary events falling by the wayside.

The Hockeytown Winter Festival was supposed to be a celebration of all levels of hockey collegiate, junior and American league and the rosters for the annual alumni game were flooded with legends and Hall of Famers

But the Red Wings confirmed last week that if theres no Winter Classic, theres no Winter Festival.

So while Detroit is probably pleased (okay, maybe not the right word) itll eventually get its game, another citys probably less enthused with the report:

Follow this link:
PHT: Michigan will get Winter Classic in '14

Annyong! The Korean word for "hello" is part of 22-year-old Asian elephant Koshik's five-word vocabulary. He can also utter the words for sit down (anja), lie down (nuo), good (choah) and no (aniya), according to a study published today in the journal Current Biology.

The frequency patterns of Koshik's human-like mutterings were also more similar to his trainers' speech than to the calls other Asian elephants make, the scientists claim.

"This is remarkable considering the huge size, the long vocal tract, and other anatomical differences between an elephant and a human," lead author and animal behaviourist Angela Stoeger of the University of Vienna said in a press release.

Koshik may have learned to manipulate formants, or the frequency components humans use to discern sounds, in his "speech" by putting his trunk in his mouth, which "is a wholly novel method of vocal production," the authors wrote in the study. By doing that, he's able to make higher-pitched sounds than he would normally, according to the study.

Trainers taught Koshik, who was born in captivity, to respond to these five words, but he started imitating humans on his own, Stoeger told Wired.com in an email. She and her team think he may have used vocal mimicry to bond with his human companions, especially during the seven years he spent alone at Everland Zoo in South Korea.

Trainers at Everland, where Koshik lives, initially told the researchers he could say six words. Stoeger and her team put the elephant's lexicon to the test by playing his "speech" to human Koreans and asking them to write down what they heard. The researchers didn't tell them what words Koshik was imitating. After analysing the data, they concluded the big-eared beast had only picked up five words. The study didn't say which word was axed from Koshik's official verbal repertoire.

Mimicry of human speech among other mammals is not very common, but it's not unheard of. The researchers mention Hoover the seal, who was raised by a fisherman and could speak a few words of English, a beluga who could say its name, and another male Asian elephant who could mutter some Russian and Kazakh.

Koshik may understand what the words he's "speaking" mean, but he probably doesn't intend them as commands or feedback, wrote Tecumseh Fitch, one of the study's authors, in an email to Wired.com. "Or at least when he says 'lie down,' he doesn't seem to get upset if you don't."

The researchers also told Wired.com that Koshik now has a lady friend, Hati, in whom he's showing quite a bit of interest. He has not used the line, "Annyong. Nuo," on her yet.

You can watch a video of Koshik "speaking" here.

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The elephant with a five-word Korean vocabulary

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