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Trump The White Returns At Dawn On The Fifth Day With Army Of Dutch Farmers And Canadian Truckers – The Babylon Bee

WASHINGTON, D.C. America was saved in the face of overwhelming odds when former President Trump returned as Trump the White at first light Monday to drain the swamp, finally making good on a campaign promise from days of old. He was joined by Dutch farmers, Canadian truckers, and those who would carry the banner of freedom unto death.

According to witnesses, there suddenly upon Capitol Hill appeared a rider, clad in white, shining in the rising sun. Behind him, hastening down the long slopes of the National Mall, were a thousand farmers and truckers; steering wheels and gear shifts manipulated with the ingenuity of patriots.

"Behold the White Rider!" cried Ted Cruz.

Rep Thomas Massie was encouraged but skeptical. "This is wizardry indeed! Come, I would look upon this ere the spell changes."

"Take heart, friend!" said Sen Rand Paul. "Dawn is ever the hope of men!"

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer shut their eyes against blinding light and covered their ears before the might of Trump's highly articulate cries as they were driven back to the shadow. Rep Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was not at the Capitol but seemingly dropped dead in horror when she later watched the event unfold on the news.

Once the Capitol Building was secured, members of Congress stepped out into the light of Trump and were cleansed of the stain of corruption. The hope of men was restored and the great evil that once reigned was held back yet another day.

At publishing time, Trump announced a new round of stimulus checks and COVID shots for everyone.

In a collaboration with The Babylon Bee, Professor Gorb McStevens lists all the countries where communism hasn't turned into a totalitarian hellscape where you have to eat your dog.

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Trump The White Returns At Dawn On The Fifth Day With Army Of Dutch Farmers And Canadian Truckers - The Babylon Bee

Macy Gray, Bette Midler Battle to Survive Latest Woke Wave – Hollywood in Toto

It seemed Bette Midler could say just about anything on Twitter without repercussions.

The Divine Miss M. has spent years slashing and burning her ideological foes on the platform. Most egregiously, she cheered on the man who nearly killed Sen. Rand Paul during a 2017 dispute.

Twice.

No Twitter suspensions. No blowback from her Hollywood peers.

That protective bubble burst this month.

RELATED: Trump Broke These Hollywood Stars (UPDATED)

Midler, in an attempt to critique the end of Roe v. Wade, worried that the folks behind the Supreme Court reversal were erasing women.

They dont call us women anymore; they call us birthing people or menstruators, and even people with vaginas! she added. Dont let them erase you! Every human on earth owes you!

Midlers message earned a curious response from conservatives. They grinned, realizing Midler had attacked fellow progressives. The modern Left is erasing the word woman from the vernacular, witness the pretzel-like conversations highlighted in the Daily Wire documentary What Is a Woman?

Now, Midler is under attack from her own side, and shes trying to wriggle free from the woke vise.

That may not be enough. Or, Midlers unrelenting messaging for Democratic causes may cause the woke mob to stand down. Said mob picks and chooses its victims carefully.

Well see.

Meanwhile, liberal singer Macy Gray is fighting her own battle with the woke mob. Gray, who called for a new American flagto replace the tattered, dated, divisive, and incorrect model and railed against President Donald Trump, shared some inconvenient thoughts with Piers Morgan this month.

Gray told the British broadcaster she doesnt support trans females competing against biological women in sports.

She didnt stop there.

I will say this and everybodys going to hate me, but, as a woman, just because you go change your parts, doesnt make you a woman. Sorry If you want me to call you a her, I will, because thats what you want, but that doesnt make you a woman just because I call you a her and just because you got a surgery.

For that, Gray got pummeled by the far-Left on social media. Most stars embark on an Apology TourTM following these public kerfuffles.

Its partly what Gray did at first. She Tweeted the following message:

i got nothing but love for lgbt+ and transgender communities ive been a supporter since day one and never a fake one. my statement on piers morgan was GROSSLY misunderstood. i respect everyones right to be whoever they wana be.

The I Try singer quickly had a change of heart and deleted that missive. Her follow-up took a more aggressive, less conciliatory tone.

Will it work? Gray isnt as famous as she was at the start of her musical career. She lacks the long-standing liberalism that helps protect Midler from the Cancel Culture cult.

Some stars, and even platforms, have begun fighting back against woke bylaws. Netflix and Paramount stood up for free expression in recent weeks. Comedians like Joe Rogan, Dave Chappelle and Ricky Gervais told offensive jokes and survived the ensuing attacks.

Well know in a few days if Gray and Midlers damage control tactics worked.

UPDATE: Gray already backpedaled. She used a national platform to take back her defense.

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Macy Gray, Bette Midler Battle to Survive Latest Woke Wave - Hollywood in Toto

Rep. Liz Cheney ends hearing with bombshell: Donald Trump called a …

Former President Donald Trump speaks during a "Save America" rally in Anchorage, Alaska, on July 9, 2022.Justin Sullivan/Getty Images

Donald Trump called a witness in the House January 6 investigation within the last week.

Rep. Liz Cheney said the witness did not answer but alerted a lawyer, who then told the House panel.

Cheney previously showed evidence that Trump allies were pressing witnesses to do the "right thing."

Former President Donald Trump tried to call a witness in the congressional inquiry into the January 6, 2021 attack on the Capitol, Rep. Liz Cheney said Tuesday, prompting House investigators to notify the Justice Department.

"After our last hearing, President Trump tried to call a witness in our investigation a witness you have not yet seen in these hearings. That person declined to answer or respond to President Trump's call and, instead, alerted their lawyer to the call," said Cheney, a Wyoming Republican, in a bombshell revelation that concluded the House January 6 committee's seventh public hearing.

"Their lawyer alerted us, and this committee has supplied that information to the Department of Justice," she added. "Let me say one more time: We will take any effort to influence witness testimony very seriously."

Cheney, the Hosue January 6 committee's vice chair, had previously gone public with the House January 6 committee's concerns about witness tampering as it continues to investigate the Capitol attack and Trump's efforts to overturn the 2020 election. At the House panel's previous hearing, Cheney revealed evidence that Trump allies were pressuring witnesses, a "practice that raises significant concern," she said.

Without identifying specific individuals, Cheney said Trump allies have urged witnesses to do "the right thing" ahead of appearances before the House January 6 committee.

"I think most Americans know that attempting to influence witnesses to testify untruthfully presents very serious concerns," Cheney said at the committee's June 28 hearing.

It is unclear whether the House January 6 committee alerted the Justice Department to Trump's call in the form of a formal referral. A Justice Department spokesperson declined to comment.

Story continues

The mention of Trump's call capped a three-hour hearing that focused on the former president's embrace of draconian plans to retain power and his role in galvanizing far-right groups that stormed the Capitol on January 6.

The House January 6 committee played footage of former White House counsel Pat Cipollone and two cabinet officials former Attorney General William Barr and Labor Secretary Eugene Scalia testifying that they knew Trump had lost the election after the Electoral College voted to certify the results in mid-December 2020.

Nonetheless, Trump entertained desperate plans to remain in the White House, including by seizing voting machines and appointing Sidney Powell, a conservative lawyer known for propounding conspiracy theories, as special counsel to investigate baseless claims of voter fraud.

"I was vehemently opposed. I didn't think she should be appointed to anything," Cipollone told the committee in his recorded testimony Friday, a portion of which was played publicly for the first time Tuesday.

Drawing from recorded testimony, the House committee detailed a December 18, 2020, meeting in which Powell and former national security advisor Michael Flynn urged Trump to name Powell special counsel and sign an executive order to seize voting machines. In her own testimony to the House committee, Powell recalled how Cipollone "set a land-speed record" rushing to intervene in the meeting.

"I was not happy to see the people who were in the Oval Ofice," Cipollone said.

During the second half of the hearing, the House committee turned to the incendiary rhetoric in which Trump mobilized his supporters, including members of far-right groups such as the Oath Keepers and Proud Boys. The House committee highlighted a December 19, 2020 tweet in which Trump said: "Big protest in D.C. on January 6th. Be there, will be wild!"

Rep. Jamie Raskin, a Maryland Democrat, said Trump's incendiary rhetoric "electrified and galvanized" supporters. Later, he invoked a phrase from Trump's 2017 inaugural address "American carnage" and delved deeper into American history to say "the Watergate break-in was like a Cub Scout meeting compared to this assault on our people and our institutions."

"American carnage: That's Donald Trump's true legacy," Raskin said. "His desire to overthrow the people's election and seize the presidency interrupted the counting of electoral college votes for the first time in American history, nearly toppled the constitutional order and brutalized hundreds and hundreds of people."

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Rep. Liz Cheney ends hearing with bombshell: Donald Trump called a ...

Donald Trump Broke These People

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Posted: Jul 10, 2022 12:01 AM

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.

Back in 2019 I wrote a piece entitled, Trump Tourettes about the unhinged reactions you get from leftists anytime you mention the 45th President of the United States. It doesnt matter if youre wearing a MAGA hat or casually explaining to someone how to play euchre, any even tangential mention of his last name set off leftists in an uncontrollable rage. That hasnt changed in the three years since, but a new phenomenon has come along to join this affliction Trump Withdrawal.

Where Trump Tourettes causes involuntary ramblings and frothing at the mouth, Trump Withdrawal causes those afflicted to make every single thing they can about Donald John Trump. Celebrity stalkers are more rational about their relationships with the targets of their obsessions than those poor bastards afflicted with an insatiable need to have Trump in their lives.

People in media who made their careers or got their TV contracts because of their willingness to be a Republican who doesnt like Trump on CNN or MSNBC are adrift now. Many of these conservatives are without a home they are what happens to useful idiots when they outlive the useful part and are just left being idiots.

Bill Kristol is a prime example. This Weeble who wouldnt have ever had a job were he not the son of an accomplished man has at least found himself another sugar daddy to keep the gravy train rolling. The commodity he has to sell is his former credibility of being a conservative magazine editor and Fox News commentator. As long as people remember thats what he was, he can still get left-wing billionaires to throw him bones to blame everything on Donald Trump. All he has to do is continue to renounce everything he once claimed to stand for because he doesnt like the people accomplishing it. Hunter Bidens prostitutes have more dignity

Theres also Michael Steele. The former chairman of the Republican National Committee is on MSNBC regularly whining like a 9-year-old girl with a skinned knee about how everything is either the fault of Republicans in general or Donald Trump specifically. Still upset he wasnt reelected to another term as chair because of his incompetent management of the RNC (strip clubs, anyone?), Mikey isnt qualified for much else. He co-founded a PR firm with a liberal Democrat under the guise of caring so deeply about finding solutions to problemsthat he sold it as quickly as possible. Now practices verbal yoga via Skype, showing an amazing ability to make anything about the former President. If Donald Trump didnt exist, Michael Steele would have to invent him because the alternative would be to be a productive human being offering something people need or find useful and hes simply ill-equipped.

Washington Post resident bridge troll Jennifer Rubin is angrier that Donald Trump was President than she is that a house was dropped on her sister. The former alleged conservative now spends her time inventing ways to blame the former President for the failures of the current one. Shes another one of those people with a paper trail expressing a desire for certain policy outcomes who renounced them when they came about because of anything related to the Trump presidency. Shes one step away from performing abortions to prove her fealty to her progressive masters when all she really has to do is give every man in America a picture of herself, which is the most effective form of birth control ever devised.

There are lesser-known sufferers, minor players who never really rose as high as their fervent selling out could have taken them if theyd been even remotely intelligent or interesting before Trump came along. Amanda Carpenter, who appears to have lost her CNN gig and suffered deserved humiliation auditioning for The View, now writes for Kristols latest blog. Matt Lewis has also discovered what happens at CNN post-Trump is like what happens at a strip club after last call the stripper was only pretending to like you. Writing hottakes like Anybody but Trump Is the Only Way Forward for the GOP, he has devolved into someone writing pieces in the hope that Morning Joe will have him on to talk about them. Hes trying to wring out a little more usefulness from his idiocy.

Then again, they all are. What they once pretended to be is the only commodity they have to offer. Donald Trump broke them. Not deliberately, but by existing in a way where he didnt need them. All theyd been building was irrelevant, their lifes works werent needed. He didnt seek their advice, there were no campaign surrogate contracts or consulting deals, he didnt even tweet out their pointless columns or clips of their TV hits. They handled it about as well as an obsessed ex handles the news of your engagement.

These are but a few of the pathetic gaggle scrambling to find some attention from the home they were welcomed into so warmly only a couple of years ago. They have announced their leaving the GOP almost as many times as Max Boot or Joe Scarborough have that its performance art at this point. Perhaps they should apply for a grant from the National Endowment for the Arts? Maybe then the hole inside them will be filled. As for the Republican Party and conservative world: Go already, we still dont need you.

Derek Hunter is the host of a free daily podcast (subscribe!), host of a daily nationally syndicated radio show, and author of the book, Outrage, INC., which exposes how liberals use fear and hatred to manipulate the masses, and host of the weekly Week in F*cking Review podcast where the news is spoken about the way it deserves to be. Follow him on Twitter at @DerekAHunter.

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Donald Trump Broke These People

The reality TV presidency of Donald Trump enters its latest phase. The January 6 hearings are the reunion spe – Vox.com

Remember when then-President Donald Trump hurled a plate at a White House wall, spattering it with ketchup? You didnt see that moment. You didnt even know about it when it happened. But when Cassidy Hutchinson, a former aide to Mark Meadows, Trumps chief of staff, told that story before the House select committee investigating the Capitol insurrection of January 6, 2021, odds are pretty good you could picture it.

The ketchup wall was just one of many damning details in Hutchinsons testimony, delivered on June 28. She also testified that Trump seemed intent on allowing heavily armed people to march on the Capitol, that he reportedly attempted to seize control of a vehicle from a Secret Service agent who wouldnt drive him up to the Capitol, and that he was obsessed with the size of the crowd listening to his speech on that day. (With Trump, some things never change.)

Those were all big, shattering revelations. But in the moment, as Hutchinson was testifying, what seemed to garner the greatest buzz on social media platforms was the ketchup. It was so ridiculous, so overly dramatic, so campy. Even though Hutchinson says it really happened, it nevertheless had big reality TV vibes, a sense that what was real had been turned up a couple of notches. And that was what made the moment stand out.

Reality television made Trump, both literally (he built considerable fame atop The Apprentice) and figuratively (he seemed to subconsciously fashion himself as a reality TV character on the campaign trail). And even though Trump is no longer in office, reality TV remains a compelling way to understand him and his administration. With the hearings set to resume this week, the narrative surrounding them at least among casual observers increasingly has the feel of people discussing a reality show around the water cooler, too.

Now that his presidency is over, the January 6 hearings stand as a kind of last-minute reunion special, one where the former star has removed himself from the proceedings by refusing to testify. No less a former Trump luminary than former chief of staff Steve Bannon is set to testify this week.

Since Trump wont be testifying, he misses a chance to set the narrative and define its characters going forward. He has lost control of the story, as it were. As such, were left with the stories we didnt hear about in all those years of the Trump White House. And in the midst of that vacuum, of course were picking on the most ridiculous details.

In the summer of 2015, as Trump began his rise to the top of the Republican presidential primary polls, many political observers wrote him off as a flash in the pan. But his TV presence was fascinating.

In the early Republican primary debates, he kept finding ways to make himself the story and to pull the cameras focus back to him. His many years on the reality show The Apprentice had served him incredibly well. Trump had so internalized how to be on television that none of his opponents seemed to be anywhere near as comfortable. Being good on TV isnt the primary skill that wins presidential races, but it helps considerably. And Trump was really good on TV. The contents of Trumps message are loathsome to many, including many Republicans, but the package Trump is selling them in is market-tested and ready to ship, I wrote at the time.

The idea of understanding Trump as a scheming reality show contestant, willing to do whatever it took to win, only grew as he won the Republican nomination and the presidency. He quite willingly took on the role of reality show villain, which wasnt really a negative. In reality TV, the villain is just the person who drives the story forward through their scheming, whom the cameras are always pinned to, who does and says the most outrageous things to garner attention. The archetypal example is likely Richard Hatch from the first season of Survivor, who won the whole game by being as unscrupulous as possible. Whether Trump thought of himself this way is impossible to know, but he quite obviously understood what made good television.

Donald Trump is starring in a TV show where he is the protagonist turned out to be an incredibly useful way to understand Trumps rise to power. (The New York Timess James Poniewozik wrote an entire book about it.) It didnt help blunt the occasionally catastrophic effects of his policies, but it did explain why he seemed so comfortable with complete and utter chaos. Indeed, he seemed most at home amid it.

Trump seemed comfortable playing a reality show villain, the guy whose behavior was so unbelievable that you had to keep tuning in to see what he did next. When the Covid-19 pandemic hit and disrupted every aspect of American life, Trumps desire to be at the center of his own TV show ran aground but it wasnt as though he lost the 2020 election in a blowout either. To plenty of people, the Trump show was one they wanted to keep watching.

The Trump who attempted to subvert the election on January 6 especially the Trump portrayed in the testimony at the select committee hearings is essentially a man who believed himself to be a TV protagonist who was so intent on remaining the protagonist (or, okay, the president) that he nearly destroyed American democracy in the process of asserting that fact. His efforts ultimately failed, but the reminder of just how self-aggrandizing and destructive Trump could be may be why Hutchinsons testimony seemed to strike such a nerve.

There are few formats more poorly suited to riveting television than congressional hearings. The January 6 committee has lots of compelling visual evidence, including some truly gut-wrenching videos, but the core of the hearings are individual testimonies. And just watching someone talk makes for really boring television.

As such, almost every time there are congressional hearings for anything, those inclined to believe those hearings should move the public opinion needle fret endlessly about whether they have broken through. If hearings are so boring on TV, why would anyone watch these hearings if they were not already inclined to agree with the idea that Trumps actions require investigation? And if nobody watches them, will they matter?

A similar dynamic even struck the Watergate hearings, probably the most famous televised congressional hearings of all time. When looking back at reporting from the period, its not hard to find folks fretting over whether anyone really cares that Nixon did something bad. Eventually, enough people did, both within Washington and without, that Nixon stepped down. But it took longer than youd expect. The gap between the beginning of those hearings and Richard Nixons resignation was well over a year, and even in terms of his approval rating, it took several months to reach a true nadir.

The temptation, then, is to say that the hearing where Hutchinson testified was only the sixth hearing of this particular committee, and therefore, theres plenty of time for the hearings to reach a wider audience. But those typical congressional hearing dynamics are all scrambled in the face of Trump. Hes been playing the part of reality TV villain so long that if youre someone who just wanted him voted off the show back when he was being a garden variety asshole in Republican primary debates and not, you know, possibly committing treason, then the last several years have built an ever more frustrated sense of urgency. Something the Mueller report, the first impeachment, the second impeachment has to take down Trump. And yet nothing has. If youre that person, then Trumps ability to never face accountability seems increasingly galling. Ah. Well. Nevertheless.

Yet perversely, I think thats why Trump threw a plate at a wall broke through in a way some of the other January 6 committee revelations have not. Hutchinsons story, dryly delivered though it was, played into a different type of reality TV villain not the calculating mastermind willing to do anything to win but the unhinged person who makes everybodys life hell. (Imagine the table flip moment from Real Housewives of New Jersey and I think youll see what I mean.)

This less-controlled reality TV villain can be very fun to watch on TV, but youd rarely want them in your corner. They are, instead, cautionary tales of what happens when Im not here to make friends boils over into something so antisocial that it burns up on reentering the atmosphere. You definitely wouldnt want to hang out with this person.

Occasionally, that sort of villain simply removes themselves from the narrative altogether. Perhaps the most famous example of this happening in reality television occurred when Lisa Vanderpump abruptly stepped away from Bravos Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, the show that made her a TV star, midway through filming its ninth season. (Her employee-centric spinoff, Vanderpump Rules, continues to run.) Her reasons for doing so were varied, but at base, they boiled down to (and I paraphrase) everybody is persecuting me. Her castmates were insufficiently nice to her. The editors werent making her look good. And so on.

If that sounds at all like the former presidents obsession with how hes perceived, well, the former president was also a reality TV star. And reality TV is a uniquely deceptive beast because if youre on it, the process of getting a good edit makes it sometimes seem as though youre literally in control of reality, especially if youve got a lot of power over the creative direction of the show, as Trump did over The Apprentice. (Theres one more comparison point to be drawn here: Like Trump, Vanderpump didnt fare particularly well on the Real Housewives reunion she skipped.)

When watching Hutchinsons testimony in front of the January 6 committee, I couldnt help but fantasize about the ways that the things she was saying might have been intercut with the footage of those things happening were this an actual reality TV reunion special, the live audience oohing and aahing at all the big moments from the season prior. Ive been reading the Trump presidency through a reality TV lens for so long that I cant stop, even when the events being described are horrifying and sobering.

I say none of this to downplay the seriousness of the charges Hutchinson made against Trump but, rather, to suggest why the January 6 hearings might finally be puncturing the televisual archetype that made Trump such a formidable political force. I am under no illusions that anything will happen to make Trump suffer actual consequences for what he did, but I do think the hearings have finally exposed him for who he is, just a little bit. Hes not a scheming Survivor. Hes a snippy, back-biting Real President of DC.

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The reality TV presidency of Donald Trump enters its latest phase. The January 6 hearings are the reunion spe - Vox.com