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One of the many reasons to celebrate the Democratic Party's abandoning of Iowa as the first winnowing floor of its presidential primary season is that Iowa's politics are now wholly controlled by radical Christian theocrats who do not shrink even from reintroducing child labor in that state by law. These people are just lost, and there is no point in the Democrats giving them pride of place for Iowa's crackpot politics and its utterly absurd caucus system by which people vote in January and win in June. Of course, these same attributes make Iowa absolutely essential to the Republican nominating process.So, this past weekend, the prospective 2024 presidential candidates all traipsed out to Iowa for the "spring kickoff" gala sponsored by the Iowa Faith and Freedom Coalition. ("The cheaper the crook, the gaudier the patter." Sam Spade). Just judging from afar, the gala seems to have been dedicated largely to widening the gender gap and alienating most voters under the age of 55. Case in point: former vice-president Mike (The Choirboy) Pence, who found himself among his people. From the Washington Post:

Mike Pence is for a no-questions-asked national ban on all forms of abortion. Period. Full stop. He pretties it all up by talking about advancing the sanctity of life, but the fire-eyed fanatic always shines through.

If that were the case, of course, Roe v. Wade would still be rocking right along and Mike Pence would still be howling about it from the peanut gallery. Instead, he's leaving no doubt that he seeks to lead the ni shagu nazad faction on all aspects of this issue. From CBS News:

The coverage of the 2024 is going to be unlike the coverage of any election since 1864. It will take place in two radically different realities, two different countries, really. The borders between the realities are the borders of Iowa which, in 1864, went for Abraham Lincoln with 64 percent of the popular vote while more than 11,000 of its citizens were dying for the Union.

Charles P Pierce is the author of four books, most recently Idiot America, and has been a working journalist since 1976. He lives near Boston and has three children.

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The Choirboy Pence Was the Star of the Theocratic Circus In Iowa ... - Esquire