Interview: Karen Pence talks about helping her own family and others deal with the mental stress of COVID-19 – USA TODAY
The coronavirus is causing major stresses in households. Here's a look at how the country is doing and tips on how to cope with mental health issues. USA TODAY
WASHINGTON For second lady Karen Pence, escaping the worriesof the coronavirus pandemic might mean painting this year's Christmas card in April or having a Zoom social hour with her staff.
For her husband, a game of Trivial Pursuit which he always wins or watching snippets of the movie Patton after returning from a COVID-19task force meeting helps Vice President Mike Pence deal with the mental stress.
So many of us are going through things we've never gone through before, Karen Pence told USA TODAY about the mental health challenges of the coronavirus. There's no stigma to saying, 'This is really hard.
From passing along everyday coping mechanisms to promoting resources available for those dealing with serious struggles, Pence wants people to know that its OK to ask for help.
Shes spreading that message as the lead ambassador for a public health campaign addressing the strains on mental well-being as many people fear for their health, are losing their jobs, and are largely confined to their homes to stop the spread of the virus.
Nearly half of adults surveyed by the nonpartisan Kaiser Family Foundation at the end of March said that worry and stress related to coronavirus has had a negative impact on their mental health.
We know what happens during and after natural disasters and economic downturns, said Barbara Van Dahlen, executive director of the President's Roadmap to Empower Veterans and End a National Tragedy of Suicide (PREVENTS). We know what's coming and we're trying to get in front of it.
PREVENTS, a three-year initiative of the Trump administration aimed at changing the culture surrounding mental health and suicide, was getting ready to roll out its strategic plan when COVID-19 hit.
The task force regrouped and created a supercharged More Than Ever Before campaign to tell people that tending to their emotional well-being during the pandemic is a necessity, not an option.
"It has to become part of the response," Van Dahlen said.
Pence, an elementary school art teacher whose initiatives as second lady have included promoting art therapy and helping military families, was an early supporter of the effort.
While shes the lead ambassador, more than a dozen other influencers have come on board to help spread the message. Those include Surgeon General Jerome Adams, former presidents of the American Psychiatric Association and the American Psychological Association, and DJ Nash, creator of A Million Little Things, the ABC drama about a group of friends dealing with the suicide of one of their own.
The aim, Pence said, is to saturate social media with the message that more than ever before, you need to take care of your mental health and you need to watch out for the mental health of those that you love.
She talked with USA TODAY about the campaign and the coping mechanismsher own family are employing.
Second Lady Karen Pence(Photo: Matthew Sobocinski, USAT)
QUESTION:Can you elaborate on the goal of the initiative, to change the culture surrounding mental health and suicide?
Pence: I just think it's important to let people know it's OK to ask for help. Some of the feelings and emotions and experiences you're having are new and so if you want help with, 'Gee, how do I handle this? whatever the mental health issue might be, there are people who can help.
And the thing is, there are a lot of very simple things to do. We just want to remind people of that. One of the things we say ... is, 'Do what you know helps you.And so for me, that might be painting. For other people, it might be gardening. It might be baking or cooking. It might be reading.
But a big part of this is scheduling these things into your day. So saying, 'OK. I'm going to spend an hour reading today. And that's just going to be pleasure reading for me. Or, 'As a family, we're all going to sit down at three o'clock, and we're going to read a story. Or, 'We're all going to put on a yoga app, and we're going to do yoga FaceTiming with our aunt.
QUESTION:Are you scheduling things like that into your day?
Pence: Yes. Its a lot easier for me. I don't have kids at home right now. I don't have some of those struggles. And so for me, it's a lot easier to check in with myself. It's a lot easier for me to say, 'Oh, I'm going to paint this afternoon. And I am. I'm actually working on our Christmas card for this year and kind of trying to get ahead of the game a little bit on that.
Although, I have struggles as well. You know, it's difficult to not be around all of my students. It's difficult not to be around our whole family. To do Zoom Easter was a new experience. So I think everybody, honestly, is having some kind of new normal experience or new struggle.
QUESTION: Because of security issues, youve already had to livewith restrictions on your movements. Is there anything youve learned from that that would help people cope with not being able to move around freely?
Pence: I do have restrictions on movement, but it's not like (what) people are experiencing where they can't go out to a restaurant now.
Who would have ever thought a month ago that this is what we would be doing? And everybody's wearing masks and everybody's doing school online and I learned how to do Zoom. ... My staff will do Zoom check-ins where...we're just going to do social hour for an hour ... (and) talk about what's going on because a lot of them are young people who are at home alone. We want people to realize they're not alone in this and they don't have to feel isolated and there are places where they can go and there are resources to reach out.
More: Marlon Bundo, Vice President Mike Pence's bunny, explains coronavirus guidelines
QUESTION:Speaking of looking out for others, are there things youre doing to help the vice president deal with the stress hes under?
Pence:He is actually one of the fortunate ones who does get to go into work every day. And there is a blessing in having that purpose and that place to be and that schedule. For a lot of us, it's not having a schedule that is a little bit intimidating. But for him, it's more about taking his mind off of things. So we played Trivial Pursuit the other night. Of course, he won. He always wins Trivial Pursuit.
He doesn't get home untilvery late. But, in little snippets, he's been watching Patton on TV. He'll find a movie to kind of get his mind off of it.
We also still do takeout from some of our favorite restaurants nearby to keep those places in business. He also has been very good about exercising. He really does try to exercise every day, even if it's just 15 minutes before he races out the door. So there are some things like that that we've been doing.
Second Lady Karen Pence(Photo: Matthew Sobocinski, USAT)
QUESTION:Youve encouraged parents to talk not just with young children about what's going on, but to also have conversations with any kids that are grown. Have you been doing that with your adult children?
Pence:One thing we talked about is, talk about your struggles, but also talk about your successes ... some of the things that maybe you've learned about yourself or something (like), 'Well, it's actually been kind of nice to have a little bit more time and to clean out the closet.
You know, I did a Goodwill run. Last week I was like, 'This is a great time to clean out the closet ... just kind of taking some of those projects that you haven't done for a while and saying, 'I can make this a positive today. Today I'm going to get this one project done. And I know some of our kids have done the same thing. Theyve done a lot of Goodwill runs lately.
QUESTION:A main message of the campaign is, This isnt an option; its a necessity. Can you elaborate?
Pence:Now is the time to kind of get out in front of it. So, right now, people are starting to really feel some of the stresses. And if they can reach out and get help right now, that is really going to limit the amount of help down the road.
It's a necessity just like it's not an option to wash your hands now. You absolutely must wash your hands. You must do social distancing. You must take care of your mental health.
Our steps are: Check in with yourself first. If you're struggling, you're probably not going to be able to help anybody ... so get help for yourself first. And then do what you know helps you. Talk about your struggles and successes.
Lastly, if you feel like you, or someone that you love, is really struggling, they can call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline. We want them to make that call.
More: Vice President Pence shows alliance with governors, despite Trump's attacks
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