Liberals – Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Liberals (also known as libtards and lieberals) are a group of outsiders and infidels. They are nosy, persistent, and ask lots of questions. What they especially question is the idea cherished by all real patriots that people in power seek noble ends based on superior knowledge. No one yet knows why liberals can't get that idea through their thick skulls.
Liberals may be comprised of, but are not limited to, the following groups: commies, union members, Medicare supporters, environmentalists, secular humanists, free-speech advocates, liberation theologians, non-Christians, people of color, feminists, hippies, recreational drug users, the working poor, gays, lesbians, the transgendered, welfare recipients, the general population, the middle class, youth, the elderly, Democrats, and anyone voting Democrat.
The proper way to discuss "Liberals" as a group (other than using profanity) is to say "Liberal" next to the word "elite". We all must do our part to thwart the Liberal elites, such as a panhandler or disabled person, just in case any of them ever get treated in a way that raises them above the level of a doormat. Otherwise, everyone would be banging on the door asking for their rights! It would be the 1960s all over again! Do you want that? I hope not! Our Liberal Overlords are a threat to hard-working people, and they must be stopped.
Dead people are a potential and untapped tour de force in the political process, benefiting both Liberal elites and Conservatives. One man, Mel Carnahan, won a senate race in Missouri against John Ashcroft, back in 2000 after crossing the floor to join The Majority. Dead people have also been allowed to vote as well, many placed on the Florida voter rolls when George W. Bush got elected. So, while they are silent, the dead are the real patriots running the country, voting and passing legislation. The Liberal elites, however, have so far successfully blocked all attempts at getting members of The Majority elected as president of the United States, or as governor of any of the 50 states of the Union. While some American Presidents have joined The Majority while in office, no president has been elected while a member of The Majority.
Liberal ideals are barely tolerated by the rest of us, who must all be on our guard and watch every move of those Liberal elites with the most intense suspiction.
Liberal elites operate from the premise that all democracies must be governed with the consent of the governed. Like most liberal ideals, the Silent Majority is left out, since the dead can do as they damn well please. So, we can toss out much of John Locke.
John Stuart Mill's love of free speech was tolerated only because he liked free markets. So, we can forgive him for the free-speech screw-up. We all make mistakes.
John Maynard Keynes showed his Liberal Elite Commie self when he defined capitalism as being made up of a band of thieves and prostitutes who steal and whore themselves for the good of us all. But that is fine, he continues, for in the long run, we all join The Majority. While we don't like what he says, he does show that as part of the life cycle of a human being, that later in our lives, we come around to our senses and join the Majority. Good on him for that, but he slanders capitalism in the process.
What the Liberal Elites don't realize is that the reason their votes don't matter is because their numbers are swamped by members of the Silent Majority. And, in some cases that allows one man to vote more than once. Let's take a look at the following scenario. Say that some guy goes into a polling station, and votes. As he leaves, he might drop dead, and then what? Current legislation says nothing about whether he can now vote as a member of The Majority. Future legislation is under way to allow dead people to return to the voting station to register their vote, even after they had just voted and dropped dead within the same voting period.
The Liberal elites, on the other hand, invoke policies and give discussions that are living-centric. While they often glorify their policies as "Socialist", this would appear Orwellian upon closer examination, since the Liberal elite view of "society" does not appear to include The Majority. Ultimately, this will only hurt themselves when The Majority say "Enough!", rise up against their Liberal overlords, and devour the brains of the latter, thus putting a fitting end to Liberal elitism and its anti-democratic policies.
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Liberals - Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
- The Week in Polling: Liberals and Conservatives neck and neck; American trust in mainstream media hits all-time low; Canadians overwhelmingly reject... - October 11th, 2025 [October 11th, 2025]
- Conservative distrust of journalism threatens to spread among liberals - Kansas Reflector - October 11th, 2025 [October 11th, 2025]
- Budget 2025: What the federal Liberals are pitching in their upcoming budget - Yahoo News Canada - October 11th, 2025 [October 11th, 2025]
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- Budget 2025: What the federal Liberals are pitching in their upcoming budget - The Spec - October 11th, 2025 [October 11th, 2025]
- Budget 2025: What the federal Liberals are pitching in their upcoming budget - Toronto Star - October 11th, 2025 [October 11th, 2025]
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- Budget 2025: What the federal Liberals are pitching in their upcoming budget - saskNOW - October 11th, 2025 [October 11th, 2025]
- These rural Californians want to secede. Newsoms maps would pair them with Bay Area liberals - el-observador.com - October 11th, 2025 [October 11th, 2025]
- Liberals seem intent on winning the battle of new terms over the war of ideas - AJC.com - October 9th, 2025 [October 9th, 2025]
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- The Liberals find a better balance in fighting hate - The Globe and Mail - October 9th, 2025 [October 9th, 2025]
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- The Yukon Liberals Are Coming Apart at the Worst Possible Time - The Walrus - October 9th, 2025 [October 9th, 2025]
- Liberals pledge support for tech sector, defence. PCs double down on supporting the trades - CBC - October 9th, 2025 [October 9th, 2025]
- Trump sends Navy officers wild with powerful message to liberals claiming he's 'unwell' - Daily Mail - October 7th, 2025 [October 7th, 2025]
- Liberals vote against Tory bail reform motion, vow opposition will be happy with new legislation - Global News - October 7th, 2025 [October 7th, 2025]
- 8 days out from election, Liberals pitch office to cut through red tape, NDP promises cuts to heating tax - Yahoo News Canada - October 7th, 2025 [October 7th, 2025]
- In travelling a spread-out province, the Liberals and PCs are trying to navigate N.L.'s rural-urban divide - CBC - October 7th, 2025 [October 7th, 2025]
- The Liberals need to be clear cut on spending cuts - The Globe and Mail - October 4th, 2025 [October 4th, 2025]
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- Mike Johnson Threatens Liberals With a Good Time: If Democrats Took Over the House Theyd Impeach Trump - Yahoo - October 2nd, 2025 [October 2nd, 2025]
- Liberals and conservatives are familiar foes of California gerrymandering | Opinion - Yahoo News Canada - October 2nd, 2025 [October 2nd, 2025]
- Gap between Liberals and Conservatives narrows to four points as Canadians increasingly focus on jobs/the economy. (Nanos) - Nanos Research - October 2nd, 2025 [October 2nd, 2025]
- Provincial Liberals Held Commanding Lead Prior to Writ Drop: Narrative Research - VOCM - October 2nd, 2025 [October 2nd, 2025]
- Liberals and conservatives are familiar foes of California gerrymandering | Opinion - Sacramento Bee - September 30th, 2025 [September 30th, 2025]
- POLL: Liberals More Likely to Cut Ties with Friends and Family Over Politics - AMAC - The Association of Mature American Citizens - September 30th, 2025 [September 30th, 2025]
- Liberals say they're confused by Poilievre's call to 'argue' against B.C. land-claims ruling they've already appealed - MSN - September 30th, 2025 [September 30th, 2025]
- Liberals say they're confused by Poilievre's call to 'argue' against B.C. land-claims ruling they've already appealed - Yahoo News Canada - September 30th, 2025 [September 30th, 2025]
- The Dark Passions Driving American Politics: Why Liberals Must Acknowledge Anger, Fear, and the Lust for Domination - Keen On America - September 30th, 2025 [September 30th, 2025]
- Daily Caller Editor Literally Calls for Conservatives to Violently Attack Liberals: I Want Blood in the Streets - Yahoo - September 30th, 2025 [September 30th, 2025]
- OPINION: Ontario Liberals should mirror federal counterparts' voting safeguards to prevent foreign interference and coercion - The Trillium - September 30th, 2025 [September 30th, 2025]
- What Liberals Get Wrong About Trumps Executive Order on Antifa - The Intercept - September 28th, 2025 [September 28th, 2025]
- Liberals say they have 'no intention' of repealing Online News and Streaming Acts. For now - National Post - September 28th, 2025 [September 28th, 2025]
- David McWilliams: Where does the political aftermath of Charlie Kirks killing leave Maga and US liberals? - The Irish Times - September 28th, 2025 [September 28th, 2025]
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- Liberals say they have 'no intention' of repealing Online News and Streaming Acts. For now - Yahoo News Canada - September 25th, 2025 [September 25th, 2025]
- Braid: The Liberals face a furious Prairie battle over mandatory gun buybacks - Calgary Herald - September 25th, 2025 [September 25th, 2025]
- 2 more Yukon Liberals added to roster in rural ridings ahead of election call - Yukon News - September 25th, 2025 [September 25th, 2025]
- Maher blasts Hollywood liberals for not acknowledging Charlie Kirk's assassination at the Emmys - Yahoo - September 23rd, 2025 [September 23rd, 2025]
- CNNs Abby Phillip Says More Liberals Need To Actively Acknowledge Their Part in Cancel Culture - Yahoo - September 23rd, 2025 [September 23rd, 2025]
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- CNN's Abby Phillip Says Liberals Should 'Actively Acknowledge' Role in Cancel Culture: 'Not Just in Passing' | Video - TheWrap - September 21st, 2025 [September 21st, 2025]
- Maher blasts Hollywood liberals for not acknowledging Charlie Kirk's assassination at the Emmys - Fox News - September 21st, 2025 [September 21st, 2025]
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- Jimmy Kimmel canceled? Liberals are finally reaping what they sowed. | Opinion - USA Today - September 19th, 2025 [September 19th, 2025]
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- J.D. Vance says 26 percent of young liberals justify political violence. Here's what the data really say. - Reason Magazine - September 17th, 2025 [September 17th, 2025]
- Charlie Kirk Wanted American Education Wrested from Liberals - FlaglerLive - September 17th, 2025 [September 17th, 2025]
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- Opinion: The Ontario Liberals need a new leader. Doug Ford would be perfect - The Globe and Mail - September 17th, 2025 [September 17th, 2025]
- Liberals will table the federal budget on Nov. 4, Champagne says - Toronto Star - September 17th, 2025 [September 17th, 2025]
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- Liberals will table the federal budget on Nov. 4, Champagne says - thecanadianpressnews.ca - September 17th, 2025 [September 17th, 2025]
- Liberals will table federal budget on Nov. 4, Champagne says - Calgary Journal - September 17th, 2025 [September 17th, 2025]
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- Carney moved Liberals 'far to the right,' says Green Party leader - CBC - September 15th, 2025 [September 15th, 2025]
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- Liberals need to get it together on pharmacare - The Hill Times - September 15th, 2025 [September 15th, 2025]
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- Bonnie Crombie to resign after Ontario Liberals narrowly voted against leadership contest - The Globe and Mail - September 15th, 2025 [September 15th, 2025]
- Trump Just Went on Fox and Issued an Unnerving Threat Against Liberals - The New Republic - September 13th, 2025 [September 13th, 2025]