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Lin Williams, Guest columnist Published 6:00 a.m. ET Nov. 11, 2020

Lin Williams(Photo: COURTESY PHOTO)

When I read of the troubles our Iraq and Afghanistan veterans are having, it breaks my heart. I offer this open letter to those veterans from a family who knows war and has returned home.

My family has a simple tradition. If there is war, the men join. So I've known veterans, all family members, from six wars.I knew them well because each summer we would gather at my grandparents'ranch in Idaho to harvest the hay and brand the calves.

We heard of my granddad who, beside his two brothers, fought in the trenches of World War I;of my three uncles in World War II, and of my dad and uncle who served during Korea. Soon, each of my cousins went to Vietnam. I was the youngest to go. That made nine of us for that war.

So I offer this from the perspective of men who know war. Our judgment is that you, the veterans of Iraq and Afghanistan, were dealt a pretty rough hand.

A lot of you were in a war zone too long. Most Americans were in the trenches of WWI less than a year. WWII, because of the scale of the war,involved months of preparation before days and weeks of intense battle. Korean and Vietnam veterans typically served one year in country.

Because of IED's, suicide vests, and random rocket attacks, you were in a combat zone every day. And you were probably sent back, or volunteered, for your second, third, sometimes fifth, tour.

You served with dangerous rules of engagement, while required to be culturally sensitive. I don't know how you fight a war without beer. Or how you came in from the field and video-chatted with your loved ones in a reassuring way.

Coming home was rough.

When my granddad came home, he was able to homestead land and begin a respected life. The WWII, Korean, and Vietnam veterans came home to a more functional veteran's program. You're getting an underfunded program and a "Thank you for your service." You were rode hard and put away wet not because of you, but because of our culture.

After you serve, it's normal to be jacked up on adrenaline for two years. It feels like the world is moving in slow motion and every conversation is trivial. Thetreatment of choice usually involves fast cars and rough bars; don't mix the two. My cousin, who served with the Long Range Recon Patrol on the Cambodian border, made that mistake. He took two innocent people with him and he was a good man.

You will not be the most patient person in any room for at least 10 years. Say "I'm sorry" when you should. It will make you and them feel better.

You can't look for validation from an ambivalent public.Think as a father might who, after working adouble shift, looks in on his children all snuggly and asleep.Feel that pride, knowing you carried the water for your family, your country, though they live lives unaware of your sacrifice. Hold that pride in yourheart forever.You earned it.

Spendtimewith people like you. In college, there was one table where veterans drank coffee between classes. We never talked about the war. We were just together and it made us feel less alone.

Don't fall into a gumption trap. Go to college, start an apprenticeship, find a job you don't hate, and apply the discipline and energy you have in you. You will be successful and then you take the next step. Most of us never had a master plan.

The night before we buried my granddad, all the men in the family gathered in my grandma's kitchen. Every branch of service was represented. Men from three wars were there. My brother and a cousin were destined for your wars. We were burying a man from a sixth. We played poker for nickels, drank whiskey, and smoked until dawn. We told stories of harvests and hunts, liberties in foreign ports, and granddad.

You would have been welcome in my grandma's kitchen that night. Uncle Johnie would have slapped you on the back, poured you a whiskey, and asked if you brought any nickels. We would have found another milk can for you to sit on and dealt you in. You would've felt like one of us, because you are one of us.

The next morning, you would have been invited to the funeral. You would have smiled to see us, all in dress uniform, focus hard to walk granddad in a straight line from the hearse to his grave. When they played "Taps," you would have fought back tears of pride, because we are the people who make it possible for our country to sleep all snuggly and warm each night, oblivious to the realities that we know.

Lin Williams, who served two tours off the coast of Vietnam as an aviation ordnanceman, lives in Venice.

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Read more from the original source:
All war veterans deserve thanks, but Iraq and Afghanistan vets stand out | Opinion - Florida Today