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Men who age are distinguished, the years deemed to confer wisdom. Signs of ageing in a woman are considered unsightly. Photograph: Brendan Smialowski/AFP/Getty

Hillary Clinton was on my mind even before word came of the death of Mario Cuomo. The former governor of New York will be remembered by those who have long forgotten, or never knew, his record running that state chiefly for his oratory and his knack for an enduring phrase. Eight minutes spent on YouTube watching his 1984 rebuttal of Ronald Reagans depiction of the US as a shining city on a hill will not be wasted. It was Cuomo who memorably told us: You campaign in poetry, you govern in prose. Still, the Cuomo quotation that lodges in my mind is one that is barely known.

He didnt say it publicly. Indeed I heard it secondhand, from his former speechwriter Peter Quinn. He was recalling the 1988 presidential campaign, which Cuomo had famously decided to sit out. The governor was watching the television debate between George Bush the elder and the charisma-free Democrat Michael Dukakis. The turning point came when Dukakis, an opponent of the death penalty, was asked how he would feel if his wife were raped and murdered: would he oppose capital punishment even then? Dukakis gave a bloodless, policy wonks answer and Cuomo was incensed.

He turned to his aides and delivered the response Dukakis should have given. How dare you speak about my wife in that way? You should be ashamed of yourself for dishonouring her like that. But I tell you this. If I caught the man who did those things to my wife, Id grab him by the neck, rip out his throat and tear him limb from limb. Cuomos face twisted as he spoke, his hands acting out each stage of the punishment he would inflict. And then his voice fell. But this is not about me. This is about the state. And the state has to be better than me. Thats why we have laws.

The answer would have worked, Cuomo believed, because it would have reassured male voters in particular that their future president had what it took to defend himself, his family and, by implication, the country. The American tribe needs to see its chief as a potential warrior. As Cuomo put it that day, there is a subtext of male violence in American politics.

Which brings us to Clinton. In 2015 possibly even in the next couple of months the former secretary of state will have to put an end to the will she, wont she speculation that has rumbled on since she lost the Democratic nomination to Barack Obama in 2008, and decide whether she will seek the presidency in 2016.

Among the obstacles that stand in her way will be the traditional sexist question: can a woman be tough enough to serve as commander-in-chief of the mightiest military force on earth?

Perhaps to head that off, Clinton has tended to be on the hawkish side of questions of war and peace. If Democrats have long been seen as more likely to be bellicose in power than Republicans, for fear of being branded soft, then Clinton brings an extra dimension to that syndrome. Note that one of her key attack lines in 2008 against Obama was that only she was sufficiently tough and experienced to deal with the 3am crisis phone call. The irony was, it was her very hawkishness backing the 2003 invasion of Iraq that proved her undoing.

But if she had a predictable sexism to overcome in 2008, she will have to confront an additional prejudice in 2016. Let the Fox News contributor Erick Erickson spell it out for you. Shes going to be old, Erickson said in April. I dont know how far back they can pull her face. He made those remarks as the stand-in anchor of Rush Limbaughs radio show. Which was apt, considering it was Limbaugh who remarked during Clintons last presidential run: Will thiscountry want to actually watch a woman get older before their eyes on a daily basis?

Its true that, were Clinton to win, she would be 69 as she took the inaugural oath, making her the oldest president in history bar Ronald Reagan, who was 16 days off his 70th birthday when he was sworn in. While age surfaced briefly as an issue in Reagans re-election campaign, when he was nearly 74, few expressed revulsion at the notion of witnessing him ageing in the White House.

Read more:
If Hillary Clinton wins in 2016, who will dare use old woman as an insult?