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NEW YORK DAILY NEWS

Sunday, February 5, 2017, 1:04 AM

A bored Donald Trump ignited baseless wars with U.S. allies but cowered during a failed attempt to belittle Zimbabwe on the latest Saturday Night Live.

Alec Baldwin returned to SNL's cold open as the President after a weeks-long hiatus. He was flanked by White House chief strategist Steve Bannon, as the Grim Reaper, who was the mastermind behind Trump's late night dialing.

The results was a testy phone call that appeared to mirror the real moment that sparked a diplomatic fissure with Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull.

"America first. Australia sucks. Your reef is failing. Prepare to go to war," Baldwin's Trump said, hanging up on Beck Bennett as Turnbull as he urged Trump to honor President Obamas decision to accept more than 1,000 of their refugees.

In his next cold call, Baldwin attempted an Abbott and Costello comedy routine with the shows depiction of Mexico President Pea Nieto.

Trump says, Hola? Guy whos going to pay for the wall says what?

Que, Pea Nieto responds, confusing the U.S. leader by taking Trump at his word and speaking in Spanish.

He calls Germanys Angela Merkel only to learn the chancellor still yearns for her "Barach" Obama.

He faltered as Bannon inspired him to call Zimbabwe's Robert Mugabe and "show them who's boss."

"I will rip out your spine and drink from your skull," said Kenan Thompson as the 92-year-old Mugabe. "You can not even walk downstairs you little white b----."

"Don't ever call Zimbabwe again."

The show packed a world of political satire in the first 30 minutes with actress Melissa McCarthy spoofing Sean Spicer. Next week, Alec Baldwin is slated to return not as SNLs guest Trump, but as host.

Host and actress Kristen Stewart detailed a history of each time Trump offered dating advice to her ex-boyfriend and former "Twilight" co-star Robert Pattinson.

"I don't think he hated me, I think he's in love with Robert," she said.

If Trump was watching, she had a message for the commander-in-chief.

"I am like so gay, dude." said Stewart, before mistakenly dropping an f-bomb during the opening monologue.

McCarthy made her surprise visit to Saturday Night Live and imagined herself as Spicer delivering a raucous White House press briefing where diaper-clad CNN correspondents are caged for reporting on fake news and journalists are soaked with "soapy water" for daring to call out the Trump administrations lies.

One such reporter was sprayed while asking about the White Houses decision to omit Jewish victims from a statement on Holocaust remembrance.

"I'm washing that filthy lie out of your mouth," said McCarthy.

McCarthys Spicer demanded reporters depict Trumps Supreme Court nomination in a particular fashion their own.

The crowd greeted him with a standing ovation for a full 15 minutes. You can check the tape, she said as Spicer. Everyone was smiling, everyone was happy. The men all had erections and every single one of the women was ovulating.

More:
SNL's Donald Trump declares war on Australia and Sean Spicer imprisons journalists for reporting on 'fake news' - New York Daily News