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Donald Trump is the worst cheat ever and he doesnt care who knows, Rick Reilly says as he describes a man he has known for 30 years. I always say golf is like bicycle shorts. It reveals a lot about a man. And golf reveals a lot of ugliness in this president.

Reilly, the former Sports Illustrated columnist, has written a book called Commander in Cheat: How Golf Explains Trump. Its rattling good fun which also depicts the startling duplicity of the president as a golfer. Youre mostly laughing, Reilly says, but at times youre crying how did this happen? As a golfer he really offends me. Cheating? Hate that. Driving carts on greens? Hate that. Wearing old dockers two sizes too small for him? Give me a break. Kicking your ball so often the caddies call you Pel? I so hate that. Most of all I hate how stupid hes making my country look. I hate what hes doing to my planet. I hate what hes doing to kids at the border. I dont mind Republicans. I just cant stand this guy. I love golf and he has set the game back 30 years. Just when it was becoming cool with Rory McIlroy and Rickie Fowler we get this fat bozo cheating his ass off.

Dr Lance Dodes, a Harvard psychiatrist, tells Reilly that Trump is a very ill man who exhibits all the traits of a narcissistic personality disorder. Reilly sighs. Its terrible he should cheat at golf which is the one sport where we self-regulate. There are referees in every other sport but in golf, if youre 200 yards away, you can kick the ball and get away with it. I called the National Golf Foundation. They said 90% of golfers dont cheat. Golf is an honest game but this guy leaves a big ugly orange stain on it. It really pisses me off.

He took the only gimme chip in Ive ever seen. A chip is a gimme? Trumps pretty good off the tee but he chips like Edward Scissorhands

Reillys anger towards Trump is made more interesting by the fact they have known each other for so long and that he admits he once almost liked the billionaire. I liked him as a writer because hes a crazy fabulist who tells lies so big they can float in the Macys parade. Hes great copy. If he says, Can you be here tomorrow for an interview? Id be on the red eye. I would do anything to get that interview but if I had to play golf with him again, and it wasnt for an article, Id never do it.

The first time I met him we were playing in the Pebble Beach Pro-Am [in the late 1980s]. He comes over and says, Its Rick Reilly, the greatest sportswriter in the world. Theres always an angle with Trump. Marla Marples was his wife then and she said, Hes your biggest fan. Look! She pulled one of my columns out of her purse like this is a set up. He wanted me to write a column about him but I had this idea of writing a book where I caddie for famous people. So we make a day for me to caddie for him but I turn up and he didnt have anybody to play with. So I played him. That was the day he took the only gimme chip in Ive ever seen. A chip is a gimme? Trumps pretty good off the tee but he chips like Edward Scissorhands. Hell cheat you on the course and then buy you lunch.

Trump introduced Reilly to other people after their game. He couldnt just call me a writer. Hed say, Meet Rick hes the president of Sports Illustrated. He would introduce me to another guy. Hey, Rick, meet Luigi voted best hamburger chef in the world. Luigis like What? No, I wasnt. Trump wants to be a winner by pretending youre someone huge.

His lies were hilarious until he becomes the most powerful man in the world. Then it got scary. I dont know what his plan is for my kids and grandkids. I dont know whos going to pay off this giant debt hes created to give his fat-cat buddies a tax cut. Look what he did [last] week in London. He pissed off two of our best allies. Its terrifying.

Trumps deceit about his golfing achievements motivated Reilly to resume writing. I was retired, living in Italy for three months a year, drinking Campari. I kept seeing on my Twitter feed [Reilly mimics Trump]: Im a champion. You should vote for me because Ive won 18 club championships. Whoa! Thats a lie because you already told me how you did it. Whenever you open a new course, you play by yourself and declare yourself the first club champion. Im like, Thats a shitty lie.

He even said: This is against the best players in the club. No strokes given. What? I played with you. Youre a 10-handicapper at best. Theres no way youre winning a club championship. I soon discovered many of them are senior championships for guys over 60 or 70. Thats a nice honour but its not within a par 5 of beating the clubs best players. Lots of guys said he wasnt even in town when some championships were decided. He claimed to have won a tournament in New Jersey when he was actually in Philly. My dad would flip over three times in his grave and he was a Reagan Republican.

This was on golf.com first but three different people told me this story. Trump was in Singapore with Kim Jong-un and there was a club championship at Trump International in Florida. Ted Virtue [the businessman who produced the movie Green Book] won the club championship. A few months later Trump sees him on the course. He drives over in his cart, followed by his Swat team in another 30 carts. Virtue and his son are on the 9th hole. Trump says: Ted, congratulations but you didnt really win because I wasnt there. Lets play these last nine holes for the championship. Virtue says: Thanks but Im with my son. Trump wont take no for an answer. Your son can play too. What can Virtue do? This is the president. This is his course. They get to a hole with a lake in front of the green. Ted and his son hit the green but Trumps ball goes in the water. Trump races off in his cart and by the time they reach the green Trump is lining up the sons putt. The caddie has switched balls. The son says: Thats my ball! Trumps caddie says: No, this is the presidents ball. Your ball went in the water. How bad is that? Thats insane. Trump makes the putt and goes one up to win. He says to Virtue: 'We'll be co-champions'. My buddy took a picture of Trump's locker and it says '2018 men's champion'. There is no mention of a co-champion. Trump cheated and won.

What would Reillys father, who loved Jack Nicklaus, have said if he heard Trump claim his handicap was lower than the 18-times major winner? Trump insists he plays off a 2.8 handicap, while Nicklaus, aged 79, admits his handicap is now 3.5. My dad would say, Ill take Nicklaus, you take Trump, and the loser has to sweep the streets of New York for the rest of their lives. Do you know how Trump does it? He has recorded only 20 scores in eight years even though he plays more golf than any other president. I put in my every score in the computer because thats what you do in golf. At my club guys will put in your score for you if youre avoiding it. Trump doesnt put in scores. Thats so unethical.

He rolls his eyes when I say Britain can hardly claim to have an ethical prime minister in Boris Johnson. Are you kidding? Trump makes your guy look like Churchill. That guy [Johnson] looks like a genius.

Reilly has clearly enjoyed writing about Trumps shameless shenanigans but he is disappointed the president has remained unusually silent about his book. This guy will tweet about a bad postcard but I cant get a tweet to save my life. If he did tweet I know what hed say. Rick Reilly? I kicked his ass. He swings like a girl. This is FAKE NEWS!!! Hes got a buddy in LA whos also my buddy. They talk once a week. My buddys said: Dont get in a Twitter war with Reilly. Youll look stupid. And dont say a word about the book. Youll just fuel sales. I said to my buddy: Who asked you?

Ive offered Trump a $100,000 charity bet to play him. He has not responded. Id bet my house I can beat him as long as there is a camera on both of us but hes not going to play me. Hes not going to testify to the impeachment hearing because he cant stop lying. And when you lie in front of Congress, you go to jail for perjury. As soon as he plays me in front of TV cameras it would come out how bad he is.

Trump likes to denigrate his enemies as losers and so the final line of Reillys book suggests that, when the president looks at his reflection, he will see the face of a loser. Reilly nods. That was on purpose. My dad always told us that if you cheat then, ultimately, youre cheating yourself. I wanted that to be the last word in the book because he is a loser. Hes the biggest loser Ive ever met.

Rick Reillys Commander in Cheat is published by Headline

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Rick Reilly: Donald Trump will cheat you on the golf course and then buy you lunch - The Guardian