Mediaboss Marketing

Update (November 26, 2019 at 1:05pm EST): Please let the record show that the back-and-forth about Conans gender continued for another day:

Well leave this to your Thanksgiving table debate league to settle once and for all.

The original article continues below.

Every Monday before Thanksgiving the president and first lady get their first big Amazon order of the season. Their enormous Christmas tree arrives. This year was no different; Melania Trump threw on a great coat and came out with her husbandgosh, whats his name? Hold on, itll come to me!to welcome it, per tradition. It all went off without a hitch once again. But this year, there was a surprise guest to help usher in the tree. The president introduced Conan, hero dog, who played a key role in the targeted raid that led to the death of ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi in October, to the assembled press core. Like I always say, nothing says the holiday season like hosting a terrorist hunting dog at the White House.

Now, heres something: The dog is a girl. This according to Yahoo News Hunter Walker, the pool reporter sic-ed, as it were, on the president as he travels. Senior aides confirmed it on background, he wrote in his email, which goes out to press from all over the country. Shes a literal femme fatal. She is 100% that bitch, if you prefer.

Now, heres something else: Conan is actually a boy dog, also according to Yahoo News Hunter Walker, the pool reporter sic-ed, as it were, on the president as he travels. He issued a correction to his earlier report. I know! What a whirlwind!

But you know what? It doesnt matter. In this one video, that man refers to the pup behind him only as Conan and the dog, praising its capability for violence and intelligence like Conan is one of his golfing buddies. It makes sense that he would repeat the name of the dog and the word dog over and over again like a malfunctioning Dale Carnegie robot; my guy just learned what a dog was and what they do for a living, so he wants to repeat the word dog an absolute ton. See, it helps him remember what one is and also convinces everyone else that hes known it all along. Double whammy!

But in the end, its a useful, genderless compulsive speech pattern. Its like he doesnt see gender. He just sees a gorgeous dog, a beautiful dog, an intelligent dog, a kind of excitingly scary dog. Conan is neither man nor woman; it is simply a hot dog, in the presidents eyes.

More Great Stories From Vanity Fair

Kate Middleton is having a moment, and heres why the queen is a fan Caught between boomers and millennials, is Generation X really our last, best hope? Were Prince Harry, Meghan Markle, Kate Middleton, and Prince William ever actually the fab four? As the college-admissions scandal rolls onward, Felicity Huffmans and Lori Loughlins paths diverge once again Prince Andrews fallout continues as he seems unable to stay away from giving interviews From the Archive: The American nightmare and ballad of Richard Jewel

Looking for more? Sign up for our daily newsletter and never miss a story.

See original here:
Conan the Dog: Donald Trump Really Wants to Show Off This One Dog He Knows - Vanity Fair