Ted (Comparison: Theatrical Version – Movie-Censorship.com
Compared are the Theatrical Version and the Extended Version (Unrated Version) (both represented by the Universal UK-Blu-ray)
- 23 differences, including 9x alternate footage - difference: 371.9 sec (= 6:12 min)
MacFarlane's voice is an essential part of the success of Family Guy. So it doesn't take a genius to figure out that his voice can't be missing in it and the story of a talking teddy bear does the trick just fine. For Family Guy and American Dad fans, this movie is kind of a reunion because there are many familiar people involved. The narrator of the movie is Patrick Stewart who's playing Stan's boss in American Dad. Then there's Alex Borstein (voice of Lois, Tricia Takanawa and more) as John's mom, Mila "Shut up, Meg!" Kunis as leading actress, Mike Henry (voice of Cleveland, Herbert the Pervert and more) as Southern newscaster, John Viener as Alix, Danny Smith as waiter and Alec Sulkin as screenplay writer. Furthermore, the movie contains loads of popcultural references. There are also many ansurd scenes isolated from the actual storyline. Sound familiar? Well, that's because Family Guy does the exact same thing. Unfortunately, the movie becomes pretty conventional in the end; just like other Hollywood comedies do. But in this case, it's acceptable. The audience has to have thought the same thing because the movie made $500 million worldwide at the box office. With that amazing result, it's the most successful Original R-rated movie ever (Hangover 2 was more successful but that's "just" a sequel). No surprise that a sequel is already in the pipeline.
As expected, the new footage doesn't reinvent the wheel, that's for sure. And there are no scenes that were censored in the Theatrical Version either (like the F-word in the TV Version of Family Guy). Refering to the rampage at Virginia Tech University might be borderline but then again gags like that are on MacFarlane's shows all the time. Probably a highlight is the scene in the beginning when Donny (as a kid) takes notice of Ted for the very first time. Apart from that, the longer version contains some nice gags that enhance the quality of it. Due to the use of alternate footage for some scenes, the Theatrical Version is still worth being watched because some gags from the Theatrical Version have been removed in the process of editing the longer version. Finally, fans don't get around watching both versions anyway.
Time index refers to Theatrical Version Blu-ray / Extended Version Blu-ray
When the kids approach the little ginger (Greenbaum), the scene is longer in the Extended Version; including alternate footage.
The Theatrical Version only shows Greenbaum saying "Oh-oh...".
In the Extended Version, he says that from a different angle while the head of the bullies is approaching. Then the bully says: "It's Jesus' birthday tomorrow and you know what I'm gonna get him?" Greenbaum: "What?" Bully: "My fist in your fucking face?" Greenbaum: "Why would Jesus want that?"
Extended Version 9.3 sec longer
05:12 / 05:22-05:46
Before John enters the kitchen, the Extended Version contains an additional scene with the parents. After some implications, they get straight to the fact that the mom (Helen) gave the dad (Steve) a BJ the previous evening.
Helen: "Well, I think we've had a wonderful Christmas this year." Steve: "One of the best. And I particularly enjoyed the gift you gave me last night." Helen: "Well, my big strong husband works so hard all year. I figured you deserved a little Christmas treat." Steve: "I think those veneers just make it a smoother ride for me." Helen: "Mmm. Well, that's how much I love you." Steve: "Seriously though, that was an outstanding blowjob!"
24.6 sec
06:23 / 06:57-07:08
A further news report, this time from Japan. The female news anchor speaks Japanese before she's getting slapped by the male anchor.
10.9 sec
06:50 / 07:35-08:13
Additional scene. Little Donny is watching the talkshow with Ted which is why he wants a teddy bear in the first place. In the background, his dad is doing some chick, so he just states Donny already got a rake to clean the yard for his birthday.
Donny: "Dad, I want a teddy bear!" Dad: "Hey! What did daddy just get you for your birthday, huh?" Donny: "A rake." Dad: "That's right. An excellent rake. A birthday rake. So when you clean the yard you don't have to pick up the leaves with your hands." Donny: "But, Dad, I want the bear on TV?" Dad: "Donny, shut up, will ya! Daddy's making love to New Mommy." Donny: "But, Daddy..." Dad: "Go to your hammock!" Donny gets up, takes another look at the TV, then he leaves.
38.4 sec
Alternate 13:31-13:32 / 14:54-15:25
The Tom Skerritt dialog is longer. The Extended Version gives Murphy the opportunity to show off with his previleges.
Murphy: "I don't think of him as an actor anymore. He's just, like, a guy. Like, we work... we worked at my garage two months ago. Helped me hang a garage door. You ever hang a garage door with Tom Skerritt?" John: "No..." Murphy: "No! You ever, uh, go miniature golfing with Tom Skerritt's wife and her kid? No. You haven't. Do you ever watch a Bulls game, a Chicago Bulls game, in Chicago with Tom Skerritt? No, you haven't. All right? Liberty, fast track, Skerritt - John."
15:35 / 17:28-17:46
Ted comments John's "So bad, but so good" commentary regarding Flash Gordon with the following words: "Yes, a study in contrast." John replies: "Whoa, whoa, I love this part right here." Now both of them start singing: "He's for every one of us! Stands for everyone of us! He'll save with a mighty hand every man, every woman, every child with a mighty flash!" Ted finally says: "Fuck yeah, Flash!"
17.2 sec
Alternate 18:22-18:25 / 20:32-20:36
A very similar, but still alternate take. In the Extended Version, John expresses himself more direct: "I'm a fucking classy broad."
Extended Version 0.5 sec longer
Alternate 18:40-18:45 / 20:51-21:00
In both versions, John says "I'm taking you to the best place in town." but an alternate take has been used here (recognizable by the arm position). Then he remains still for a moment in the Theatrical Version. The Extended Version on the other hand switches to another shot of him in which he adds: "I've been crapping out room for it for two days. I mean, I know exactly what I'm gonna order." Lori: "You're so disgusting." Then, John's comment "You know I love you" follows. And again, the Extended Version contains an alternate take of his comment.
Extended Version 4.2 sec longer
Alternate 18:55-19:00 / 21:10-21:16
In the Extended Version, the distance shot is a few frames longer. Then an alternate take of John turning around in bed. But he only swears in the Extended Version "Ah, fucking cocksucker motherfucker!" while he's doing so. The Extended Version then just sticks to this shot when Lori addresses him while the Theatrical Version contains footage of from a different with the very same comment of Lori's. Not until its ending, the Theatrical Version goes to the distance shot from the Extended Version.
Extended Version 1 sec longer
21:11 / 23:27-23:31
First a shot of Lori. then Rex who reaches for magnifying glass and says about the photo: "Now, if you look close, you can see the outline of my root."
3.9 sec
Alternate 21:38-21:40 / 23:58-24:13
In the Theatrical Version, Lori says "Goodbye, Rex" from a closer angle. Then she gets up.
25:32 / 28:05-28:15
More dialog. John is being tactless by mentioning the rampage at Virginia Tech University. In the same shot, he adds: "I could have wound up like that Asian kid at Virginia Tech but I didn't because of him. So I'm not that psyched to just, like, kick him out." Lori: "What? It's good to know that a talking teddy bear is the only thing that prevented you from gunning down your classmates."
Subsequently Lori's comment "But you're no longer eight." which ia also in the Theatrical Version.
10.6 sec
Alternate 27:17-27:21 / 30:00-30:09
Ted has an alternate explanation for the excrements on the appartment floor. At first, the Extended Version contains an alternate take, followed by two additional ones.
In the Theatrical Version, Ted says: "Oh, yeah. Yeah, we were playing truth or dare and Cherene's pretty ballsy." In the Extended Version, he says: "Oh, my God! You know what, that's probably what Dierdre was doing over there. Remember she was crouched over in the corner for a really long time? I thought she was just making a phone call or something."
Extended Version 4.2 sec longer
Alternate 27:23-27:28 / 30:11-30:20
After Lori repeated "There is a shit on my floor!", the version continue differently.
In the Theatrical Version, Ted says: "'Or is the floor on the shit?' is what Kierkegaard would say." In the Extended Version, he says: "Yeah, yeah. She's passed out in the bathroom now. She seemed like she was hopped up on something but, you know, mystery solved, I guess, right? She was taking a shit." Lori yells "What the fuck?" one more time.
Extended Version 4.3 sec longer
30:14 / 33:06-33:26
John reacts to the attorney's proposal: "As I said, you would need a law degree for a law school." Ted: "No, no... I'm a special case. I'm a talking teddy bear for Christ's sake. They might make an exception because they'd be all like, 'Oh, my God, this bear's so cool. He can talk and do stuff. Let's give him a job. Maybe he'll give us a few laughs around the office.' And then they're like, 'Oh, my God! He can deliver. He's actually quite a litigator.' And then they'll practically have to give me the Anderson case."
20.5 sec
39:10 / 42:22-43:04
Read more here:
Ted (Comparison: Theatrical Version - Movie-Censorship.com
- An FCC Commissioner Tells Disney the Agency Is on a Campaign to Censor It - WSJ - May 11th, 2026 [May 11th, 2026]
- Finally: ABC is fighting back against FCC censorship - Freedom of the Press Foundation - May 11th, 2026 [May 11th, 2026]
- Democratic FCC commissioner tells Disney it is the target of a censorship campaign - NBC News - May 11th, 2026 [May 11th, 2026]
- 'World we live in is touchy': Actor Vrajesh Hirjee on why comedians should self-censor - The Times of India - May 11th, 2026 [May 11th, 2026]
- ABC argues Trump administration is trying to chill free speech - NPR - May 11th, 2026 [May 11th, 2026]
- FCC Commissioner Gomez Tells Disney CEO Government Agency is Trying to Censor ABC - Media Play News - May 11th, 2026 [May 11th, 2026]
- Internet is not the same for everyone: the global map of online censorship - Escudo Digital - May 11th, 2026 [May 11th, 2026]
- I dare you to censor this, BBC! The biggest and bravest shocks of the TV Baftas - The Guardian - May 11th, 2026 [May 11th, 2026]
- Big Finance Might Be Dooming the SPLC Even Before Its Day in Court - The Intercept - May 11th, 2026 [May 11th, 2026]
- Opera censorship has crescendoed to an absurd level - The Telegraph - May 11th, 2026 [May 11th, 2026]
- Navigating Comedy's Tightrope: Vrajesh Hirjee on Self-Censorship and Storytelling - Devdiscourse - May 11th, 2026 [May 11th, 2026]
- FCC Commissioner Accuses Trump Administration of Censoring Disney and ABC - Devdiscourse - May 11th, 2026 [May 11th, 2026]
- USS FCC said to be under pressure to censor Disney - Breakingthenews.net - May 11th, 2026 [May 11th, 2026]
- World we live in is touchy: Actor Vrajesh Hirjee on why comedians should self-censor - ThePrint - May 11th, 2026 [May 11th, 2026]
- Slavoj iek: I am resigned to the paradox that we need censorship sometimes to preserve freedom - Prospect Magazine - May 9th, 2026 [May 9th, 2026]
- Voices: Three incidents in one school year reveal a chilling pattern in Utah - The Salt Lake Tribune - May 9th, 2026 [May 9th, 2026]
- ABC Learns from Past Mistakes, Takes Stronger Stance Against Carr and Trump's Censorship Campaign - freepress.net - May 9th, 2026 [May 9th, 2026]
- Miami's Community Justice Project marks 10 years fighting evictions, censorship and anti-protest laws - WLRN - May 9th, 2026 [May 9th, 2026]
- Censorship at the FDA, CDC - Washington Monthly - May 9th, 2026 [May 9th, 2026]
- Theyre trying to narrow the worldview of young people: how book bans are on the rise in the US - The Guardian - May 9th, 2026 [May 9th, 2026]
- How 1950s Censorship Could Have Stripped James Bond of Its Signature Style - Parade - May 9th, 2026 [May 9th, 2026]
- Number of nonfiction books banned in schools has doubled, report says - USA Today - May 9th, 2026 [May 9th, 2026]
- I can imagine going anywhere: Ai Weiwei, an artist without a country - Index on Censorship - May 9th, 2026 [May 9th, 2026]
- Imprisoned and critically ill Iranian Nobel prizewinner warned three years ago that prisons were set up to kill - Index on Censorship - May 9th, 2026 [May 9th, 2026]
- Russia's censor body, Roskomnadzor, wants to block 92% of VPN apps by 2030 and it's investing 20 billion rubles a year to build a permanent VPN... - May 9th, 2026 [May 9th, 2026]
- 2014 Hit Comedy Film, Released After Censorship Issues, Ranked No. 1 Banned Movie of All Time - Parade - May 9th, 2026 [May 9th, 2026]
- Pricing and censorship complaints be damned: Pokmon FireRed and LeafGreen sold over 4 million units in six weeks - Eurogamer.net - May 9th, 2026 [May 9th, 2026]
- Floridas Anti-DEI Politics Will Destroy the Culture Museums are Created to Support - The Fulcrum - May 9th, 2026 [May 9th, 2026]
- Belief that words cause lasting harm tied to politics, poor mental health: study - The College Fix - May 9th, 2026 [May 9th, 2026]
- FORMULA 1, Montoya versus Verstappen: It has to stop. But censorship is scary. - gpone.com - May 9th, 2026 [May 9th, 2026]
- Utah's New VPN Laws Could Have A Huge Effect On How You Use The Internet - bgr.com - May 9th, 2026 [May 9th, 2026]
- Chizi, Standup Comic Exiled in China, Wants to Be More Than Just a Rebel Comedian - The New York Times - May 5th, 2026 [May 5th, 2026]
- Cries of censorship over French plan to vet former spies books - The Times - May 5th, 2026 [May 5th, 2026]
- Three Justificationsand the AI Accelerantof Indias Digital Censorship Infrastructure - Tech Policy Press - May 5th, 2026 [May 5th, 2026]
- The Kulture | Lets Talk About It: Censorship and Creativity - WJBF - May 5th, 2026 [May 5th, 2026]
- THE KULTURE | Lets Talk About It: Censorship and Creativity - AOL.com - May 5th, 2026 [May 5th, 2026]
- Iran says X removed verification badges from its foreign ministry accounts - Anadolu Ajans - May 5th, 2026 [May 5th, 2026]
- Minimal reforms are inadequate: Artistic and artists rights continue to be repressed in Tanzania - Freemuse - May 5th, 2026 [May 5th, 2026]
- The quiet push to control AI speech - FIRE | Foundation for Individual Rights and Expression - May 5th, 2026 [May 5th, 2026]
- Meet the Free Speech Warrior of the Trump Administration - The Free Press - May 5th, 2026 [May 5th, 2026]
- California city ordered to pay $1 million in lawyer fees in library censorship lawsuit - East Bay Times - May 5th, 2026 [May 5th, 2026]
- Letter to the Editor: Cal Poly let the ADL censor and misrepresent my research - Mustang News - May 5th, 2026 [May 5th, 2026]
- Press Freedom Under Threat: Professor Warns of Censorship & Intimidation in Ghana - Modern Ghana - May 5th, 2026 [May 5th, 2026]
- Sam Levinson Used Jules To Air Grievances About His Own War With Critics and Censors. The Episode Is Airing While the FCC Does the Same Thing to Trans... - May 5th, 2026 [May 5th, 2026]
- Tackling takedowns: On the government and online censorship | The Hindu Editorial - The Hindu - May 5th, 2026 [May 5th, 2026]
- A FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY TO THE SEX PARTY - westender.com.au - May 5th, 2026 [May 5th, 2026]
- 'Karuppu' clears the censor; the Suriya and Trisha starrer is set for a blasting release on May 14 - The Times of India - May 5th, 2026 [May 5th, 2026]
- 1971 Hit Drama Film, Originally Censored in the United States, Ranked Among Most Controversial Films of All Time - Parade - May 5th, 2026 [May 5th, 2026]
- California city ordered to pay $1 million in lawyer fees in library censorship lawsuit - The Mercury News - May 3rd, 2026 [May 3rd, 2026]
- MoveOn Targets Disney Headquarters with Mobile Anti-Censorship Billboard - WDW News Today - May 3rd, 2026 [May 3rd, 2026]
- Tackling takedowns: On the government and online censorship - The Hindu - May 3rd, 2026 [May 3rd, 2026]
- FREE INQUIRY OR CENSORSHIP? Indianas intellectual diversity mandate impacting higher-ed instruction - the indiana citizen - May 3rd, 2026 [May 3rd, 2026]
- Reports to police of online violence against women journalists double since 2020, with one in four experiencing related anxiety and/or depression - UN... - May 3rd, 2026 [May 3rd, 2026]
- From Belarus to Gaza we continue to bear witness to the unprecedented attacks on journalists globally - Index on Censorship - May 3rd, 2026 [May 3rd, 2026]
- Why did Israel kill more journalists than any other country in the world last year? - Index on Censorship - May 3rd, 2026 [May 3rd, 2026]
- The EFF criticized a bill that would mandate censorship software for 3D printers, arguing that it 'could destroy the open-source culture.' - GIGAZINE - May 3rd, 2026 [May 3rd, 2026]
- Opinion | We Should All Be Concerned About Whats Happening in India - The New York Times - May 1st, 2026 [May 1st, 2026]
- 60 Minutes Star Spills on MAGA-Coded CBS Plot to Censor Truth - The Daily Beast - May 1st, 2026 [May 1st, 2026]
- 60 Minutes Star Spills on MAGA-Coded CBS Plot to Censor Truth - The Daily Beast - May 1st, 2026 [May 1st, 2026]
- Opinion | We Should All Be Concerned About Whats Happening in India - The New York Times - May 1st, 2026 [May 1st, 2026]
- Trump, Kimmel and the line between freedom of speech and government censorship | CNN Politics - CNN - May 1st, 2026 [May 1st, 2026]
- Sanjay Dutt's Aakhri Sawal trailer stuck with censor board a week before release - India Today - May 1st, 2026 [May 1st, 2026]
- IU, Purdue students honored for censorship fight but future is unclear - IndyStar - May 1st, 2026 [May 1st, 2026]
- Nearly 30% of researchers in red states self censor Survey - University World News - May 1st, 2026 [May 1st, 2026]
- The Gulfs war on information - Index on Censorship - May 1st, 2026 [May 1st, 2026]
- EFF Submission to UN Report on the Role of Media in the Context of Israels Policies Toward Palestinians - Electronic Frontier Foundation - May 1st, 2026 [May 1st, 2026]
- Turkey silences its journalists by forcing them into exile - Index on Censorship - May 1st, 2026 [May 1st, 2026]
- Huntington Beach ordered to pay $1 million in lawyer fees in library censorship lawsuit - Orange County Register - May 1st, 2026 [May 1st, 2026]
- Banning pro-Palestine protest in the UK is no solution to antisemitism - Index on Censorship - May 1st, 2026 [May 1st, 2026]
- The Real Threat to Free Speech - MacIver Institute - May 1st, 2026 [May 1st, 2026]
- None of Us Are Safe in the United States Right Now: A Roundtable on Press Freedom - Latino USA - May 1st, 2026 [May 1st, 2026]
- Hungarys Opposition Used Social Media to Topple the Authoritarian-in-Chief - theunpopulist.net - May 1st, 2026 [May 1st, 2026]
- The postponement of RightsCon: Another case of the dragons hold on Africa? - Index on Censorship - May 1st, 2026 [May 1st, 2026]
- Ted Cruz Thinks Jimmy Kimmel Should Face No Legal Repercussions From FCC; Not [The] Governments Job To Censor Speech - Yahoo - May 1st, 2026 [May 1st, 2026]
- Grandmother cleared of charges in abortion censorship zone case - The Christian Institute - May 1st, 2026 [May 1st, 2026]
- Ted Cruz Slams FCC Review of Disney Broadcast TV Licenses Amid Kimmel - The Hollywood Reporter - May 1st, 2026 [May 1st, 2026]
- Dragon Ball Super's New Remake Proves the Galactic Patrol Anime Will Be Disappointing - Comic Book Resources - May 1st, 2026 [May 1st, 2026]
- Brendan Carrs fight with Disney revives GOP fissures - Politico - May 1st, 2026 [May 1st, 2026]
- Collapse of Free Speech; Only Flattery of the Taliban Is Allowed - 8am.media - May 1st, 2026 [May 1st, 2026]
- Ted Cruz Rips FCC Over ABC Broadcast License Review Following Kimmel Joke - Variety - May 1st, 2026 [May 1st, 2026]