How To Network Gracefully In The Time Of Social Distancing – Forbes
In my previous lifewhich is the one I was living until about three weeks agoI committed to connecting four women each day during the month of March. The #Connect4Women challenge is an initiative conceived by Jennifer DaSilva out of pure generosity. DaSilva, as president of creative agency Berlin Cameron, had already created a unique program to support female founders with marketing. Still, she wanted to do even more to help women expand their business and social networks, increase opportunities, and inspire collaboration. Along with dozens of other women, I pledged to take action. Once I got started, I realized how fun and satisfying it is to introduce people who would benefit from knowing one another.
And then you-know-what happened.
Physical distancing doesn't have to mean social distancing. (Photo by ANGELA WEISS/AFP via Getty ... [+] Images)
Suddenly, the world was on-edge and off-kilter, and our business networks became either the last thing on our minds or the most important thing we could do to stay sane. I just didn't know which. So, with some caution, I reached out to the savviest networking experts I know to find how to build and maintain connections in the new not-so-normal.
Ive actually been hyper focused on strengthening the connections I already have and those that may have loosened due to busy schedules, says Daisy Auger-Dominguez, a human capitalist strategist who is now getting more calls for guidance and support than ever. Networking is vital, and she views isolation as an opportunity to build richer connections, especially with those she doesnt know well.
For Susan McPherson, developing meaningful connections is a life purpose. Among the few genuine super-connectors, she's known for being magnanimous in connecting people. "At this crazy and unprecedented moment, now is the time to reach out in the most helpful way you can," she says. "We are all struggling and looking for new and interesting ways to learn, discover, understand, and make meaning out of our lives." McPherson encourages beginning your outreach with a simple question, "How can I be of support during these challenging days?"
"Traditional ideas of networking transactional exchanges with people who you only connect with because you have something to gain were already dying a slow death," says Christina Blacken, founder of The New Quo. Blacken recommends changing the way we think of our connections, especially in a crisis, when it's more critical, not less, to emphasize our humanity. "We need to continue to build and connect with one another to pivot, innovate, create, and provide solutions to the unprecedented challenges we're facing," she says. Without relationships, we can't move forward professionally or personally, so think of your networks as essential to your well-being.
"The rules have changed," says Leah Bonvissuto. "To do business in this environment, we need to cultivate emotional connections with deliberate warmth." As a workplace communication expert, Bonvissuto encourages extra sensitivity now as people are operating under wildly uncertain circumstances. "It's impossible to know who's lost work, who isn't feeling well, or how a dramatically a person's situation has changed," she says. Bonvissuto advises that we make an extra effort to be thoughtful, have more empathy, and proceed with caution and care when we engage with our professional and personal contacts. Blacken agrees. "When you are compassionate and giving, times like these can actually help solidify relationships."
"One of the things that can completely transform how you network and manage your relationships is developing a system to keep track of them," says Michael Roderick, consummate networker and creator of the Access to Anyone podcast. Roderick says this is the perfect time to create a spreadsheet of your contacts. Include a place to put notes about your recent conversations and a column to keep track of how long it has been since you last chatted. Even a basic spreadsheet will organize your contacts visually and make it easier to sort and search your connections by topic or interest. You may also spot creative connections you can make among your network between people who could benefit from getting to know each other.
"Look back through your old emails and correspondence and find the places where you dropped the ball or the people who you simply lost touch with," says Roderick. He calls this activity a rescue mission and suggests reaching out to these contacts to make a time to catch up and learn what they are up to now. "You never know where someone who got lost in the shuffle could be at this very moment," says Roderick. In times, like these, everyone could use a cheerful hello.
"Many executives struggle with feeling confident and effectively communicating even when it's business-as-usual," says Bonvissuto. According to PresentVoices data, 90% of people have trouble interacting when the stakes are high, and three-quarters of people are as terrified of networking as they are public speaking. Though the statics are staggering, almost everyone wants to create better connections, and Bonvissuto has an excellent idea for making that easier on everyone. "Consider how much space you are taking up in the conversation and be generous with how much space you cede," she says. In other words, make a conscious effort to listen as much as you speak.
Now that in-person meetings are out of the question, most of us are resorting to the usual platforms like text, email, and LinkedIn, or upgrading and learning to optimize newer ones like Zoom and Blue Jeans. But for the most personal connection, says MacPherson, "Pick up the damn phone."
A month ago, Jennifer DaSilva could not have predicted what would become of society in such a short time. But her goal of encouraging her network to be active about introducing and connecting others they know could not have been timelier. Relationships, interactions, collaborations, and communities that we once took for granted have become more precious than ever now that we find ourselves isolated.
Everything is changing rapidly and so is the risk to lose the very social fabric that binds us together, says Auger-Domingez. I am heartened by the amazing acts of generosity and kindness that folks are displaying, and hopeful that becomes the norm.
We are inherently social creatures, wired for connection, and a crisis like this only intensifies that need. I'm grateful to have a network that's available to lend advice and support when I most need it. And I'm humbled when invited to share my knowledge, experience, and contacts in the interest of helping others. As McPherson said to me, "We learn something from every single person we meet in life." It's a generous view of humanity, and its a good time for us all to embrace it.
For the foreseeable future, distancing ourselves is critical to our survival. But we don't have to resign ourselves to social distancing, rather just physical distancing. "We can be physically apart, but still be socially connected," Blacken says. "Our mental and emotional well-being depends on it."
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How To Network Gracefully In The Time Of Social Distancing - Forbes