Is there really etiquette on social media? And, if there is, do I need to start teaching my children about such etiquette? (Thinkstock)
I teach a social media class at UMass Amherst, and my students were recently talking about the etiquette of social media. It was not something I had really thought about. Is there really etiquette on social media? And, if there is, do I need to start teaching my children about such etiquette?
As parents we spend a lot of time on manners: Elbows off the table, firm handshake, respect your elders, look people in the eye when talking to them, etc. But the more I spoke to my students, the more I thought about the need to talk to my kids about social media etiquette.
So what is unacceptable behavior?
My students said they've seen breakups live-tweeted or live broadcast on Facebook. And a close friend of mine told me she saw a friend from high school live broadcast her marriage falling apart, including references to domestic violence. The broadcast was also filled with comments from Facebook friends offering support.
I recalled when my son and his girlfriend broke up in seventh grade and how there was a bit of a backlash. The animosity wasn't public it took place on Facebook's messaging system but friends of the girl were verbally attacking my son and his friends, making threats. At one point, one of the girl's friends dropped the N-word, prompting me to take a screen shot of the exchange and send it to the guidance counselor.
The student was reprimanded, but I also had an opportunity to explore some of the ideas behind social media communication. Teen and pre-teens live in a world where the focus tends to be on them. Communication is often seen as one-to-one or one-to-several instead of one-to-many. So, I tried to get my son to understand that you never know who will be reading your social media rants. The old adage seems appropriate here: Don't write anything you wouldn't want your grandmother to read.
I do remember that he garnered a bunch of Facebook comments when he changed his in a relationship status to single. And, this is an issue for divorced parents as well. I'm friends with my son on Facebook, so I've been overly careful not to share too much about my divorce. And when I changed my relationship status I just left it blank partially not to call attention to it (and possibly embarrass him) but also because I wanted to control the flow of information, not Facebook
And, ultimately that is one of the lessons we need to pass on to our children about communication in a social media world. Undoubtedly, there are parts of your life you want to share successes, photos, moments of happiness. But everyone does not need to know everything.
So, Social Media Etiquette Rule #1: Think before you share (even if you are a teenager)
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How to teach your kids social media etiquette