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Id like to congratulate you on no longer being Americas fattest city, how about a round of applause for slimming down a bit?

It might have made sense for me to come to one of Americas most obese cities and talk to you about body positivity, a topic I approach with my trademark sensitivity.

But Im saving that for Louisiana State on Wednesday. Instead, I want to talk to you about a more serious topic, one thats captured the attention of American politics: the alternative right, or alt-right.

Now, various media and political figures have tried to define the alt-right, with varying degrees of accuracy, over the past few weeks. Which is to say no accuracy at all.

Hillary Clinton, just before reading out some of my headlines, called the alt-right an emerging racist ideology. Of course, she also constantly hallucinates about a vast right wing conspiracy, and, when shes having one of her episodes, a purple unicorn she calls Matilda.

According to Vox, the alt-right is a movement lurking in Reddit and 4chan threads and in community blogs and forums, a movement of right-wingers who openly argue that democracy is a joke.

This is typically nonsensical bilge from Vox, given that the alt-right were also apparently responsible for the outcome of the Brexit referendum.

Salon is more succinct. The alt-right, also known as white nationalism.

Now, obviously theres a grain of truth to some of these characterizations.

But, as weve come to expect, the media depictions of the alt right are woefully simplistic. Almost everything you read about the alt-right is wrong. It isnt just white nationalists. Not everyone in the alt-right is like Paul Town. And the movement certainly isnt led by me although the media seems determined to crown me its queen.

I can tell which members of the audience are alt-right, because their eyes are starting to twitch at me, the degenerates degenerate being called alt-right.

As I told CNBC, somethings not quite right here.

Just to be clear, I dont consider myself a member of the alt-right. Here are a few of the things I disagree with them on.

Firstly, I quite like Israel.The alt-right is sort of fundamentally hostile to these foreign entanglements that may or may not serve Americas interests, and Im a fairly unreconstructed Zionist. I dont expect everyone to agree with that.

I also really like this man [Slide: President George W. Bush].And I was pro-Iraq [war] and I still am. The alt-right would mostly find that horrifying.

And theres one last most obvious one [Slide: Interracial gay porn film]

Of course, to the mainstream media, reporting accurately on the alt-right, and understanding the movements nuances instead of just shrieking RACISTS, is tantamount to leading the movement.

The media is consumed by virtue-signalling. And yes, by the way, there are racists in the alt-right but the movement is much bigger than just them.

The lefts motivations in branding the alt-right as skinheads with Twitter accounts are easier to understand when you realise that the left is responsible for creating it in the first place, as Ill explain in a moment.

The problem is, theyre smearing an entire political generation as racist, and they dont care who gets hurt in the process.

The inability of the establishment right to decipher the movement is slightly different they just dont get it. I dont think any of the people at National Review are bad people they just dont understand what theyre seeing. They dont get cultural politics, they dont get Millennial politics, and thus they dont get the alt-right. The only tools they have to understand the movement are those handed to them by the political left.

I dont hold grudges against them. Those of them who arent senior citizens sexually identify as senior citizens.

The media desperately wants to define the alt-right by the worst 5 percent of its members. They take the genuinely anti-semitic racists the stormfronters or Stormfags, the 1488ers, the Andrew Auernheimers and use them to define the whole movement. The left is obsessed by white supremacy, which in reality makes up an infinitesimally small number of people.

I see two primary motivating factors behind the rise of the alt right.

The first is a millennial generation thats fed up with identity politics and its hypocrisies.

I see old-school conservatives who have had enough of mainstream politicians ignoring their concerns about immigration and cultural politics. I see intellectuals desperate to discuss dangerous, forbidden ideas as the left tries to make the overton window narrower and narrower.

And millennials are proving phenomenally talented at converting their parents, who might be disaffected republicans or tea partiers with Alt-Right thinking. Im sure a few people in the room have gotten Harambe jokes from their parents and that scares the left to death.

The second is anti-white racism.

Progressives in America today believe that you cant be racist unless youre white, or unless you have what they call prejudice plus power. This argument, dreamed up in gender and African studies departments, does nothing more than give people an excuse to attack others for their gender, their sexual orientation, or the colour of their skin, in the same way that eugenics gave people an excuse to view others as subhuman nearly a century ago.

Ironically so-called white privilege is the privilege to be discriminated against.

The idea that women and minorities, who have advocates for their special status in every university, every political party, and every media organization dont have power behind their prejudices is also, frankly, absurd.

Racism is everywhere in America today. So is sexism. Its in our university faculties.

But its not the racism you think.

Its on the pages of the Washington Post. Its on the pages of The Guardian. Its in Hollywood. Its on MSNBC.

Let me read you some statements which highlight the sort of casual racism and sexism that is deemed acceptable by the establishment today.

The Beginning Of The End For Angry White Males.

Feminists Dont Hate Men, But It Wouldnt Matter If We Did.

When Whites Just Dont Get It

As A White Man, Im Surprised More Women Arent Tweeting The Hashtag #KillAllWhiteMen

Women Should Speak First In Class, Says SMU Professor. Really, Do Men Have To Speak At All?

These are headlines from The Guardian, The New York Times, The Independent, The National Post, and the Chicago Tribune.

The key question behind all this is: are we going to have identity politics for everyone, or identity politics for no-one?

At the moment, we have identity politics for everyone except white men. If you advocate for mens issues, The Guardian will call you a misogynist and a sexist. If you advocate for whites, The Guardian and National Review, and everyone else will call you a racist.

Meanwhile, other groups women, gays, blacks, Muslims are not only allowed to advocate for their groups interests, but allowed to be openly racist and sexist towards white men.

When they do so, they receive support from the Silicon Valleys tech giants, who manage an increasing share of our lives. When a parody group called the Feminist Software Foundation tried to create a browser extension that took all instances of white men in articles and changed them to Jews making Guardian articles read like Mein Kampf the extension was banned from both Chrome and Firefox.

Not for antisemitism, you understand. But for showing the Left up as racists.

Id prefer we had no identity politics at all and that we judged people, as someone once said, not by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. But if youre going to have identity politics, you have to have them for everybody.

You might not like the result.

The younger, millennial members of the alt-right are, for the most part, not white nationalists. But theyre being pushed toward racial humor by the progressive left.

The left is responsible for me. The left is responsible for the rise of Donald Trump. The left created the alt-right.

If youre on the Left, and youre looking out at the alt-right with horror, and want to destroy it, guess what? You probably can.

Heres the bad news: your current tactics arent working, and are in fact having the opposite of their intended effect. Name-calling, public shaming, and tearing your hair out over Pepe the Frog is simply ineffective and is enlarging the ranks of the troll army every day you continue to do it.

Heres the good news: there are a few simple things you can do to nuke the movement.

Im happy to tell you what they are, because I know youre not going to do any of them.

But I want to you to listen, because I want you to understand how your actions created this phenomenon.

The first thing you have to do is stop being hypocrites.

Double standards are everywhere in coverage of the alt-right. Whenever confronted with a left wing or minority- radical movement, The establishment will wring its hand about addressing the root causes. But they accuse anyone who does the same for the alt-right as necessarily endorsing the worsts of its proponents.

Just look at the medias coverage of Black Lives Matter, and how it gives a pass to horrifying behaviour, behaviour that goes far beyond what the alt-right does on Twitter. Oh, someone with an anime avatar tweeted a racial caricature at you? Thats nice Black Lives Matter has killed police officers.

And theyre still being championed by the mainstream press. Is it any wonder that people sympathize with the alt-right, when theyre at the losing end of such a blatant double standard?

And again you push older people to the alt-right. Who do you think stopped giving millions of dollars to Mizzou following their Black Lives Matter protests? Here is a hint it wasnt jobless gender studies majors, or young engineers whose job was replaced by an H-1B visa holder, it was established donors ranging in age from 40-65.

Its double standards that are at least in part fuelling the alt-right, and not Donald Trump. If you think the alt-right is going to evaporate with the God Emperor, think again.

The genie is not going back in the bottle. And I dont care if I just appropriated the culture of some Arab country by saying that, or infringed on a Disney company trademark for that matter.

Heres one for Hillary Clinton: you gotta stop calling half the country racists.

Establishment columnists argue that responding to racism with racism is wrong, but this is an oversimplification of whats going on with the alt-right. Not everyone on the alt-right is Andrew Auernheimer.

Others, the millennials in particular, are simply responding to real racism with trolling, as a means to expose the double standard. When the double standard disappears, I expect this performative racism if you like, will too.

Performative racism doesnt mean racism-lite. It means memes. It means jokes. It means 19 year old boys saying stuff to get a reaction.

All of the shekel-clutching about anti-semitism on the internet illustrates this perfectly.

Young people dont see anti-semitism as any different to racism or sexism. Its a term robbed of meaning from over-use.

I dont believe there has been some gigantic, spontaneous outpouring of anti-semitism from 22-year olds in this country. And no one has made that case or explained why it might be. Or even tried to.

What I do see is a lot of young people trying to get a reaction. Thats the Troll Manifesto: find something that a person in power is sensitive about, rightly or wrongly, and joke about it relentlessly until they acknowledge you.

Anyone know who this is?

Edward Rooney is the Dean of students in Ferris Buellers Day Off. Hes a cunt. It doesnt matter that hes probably in the right that Bueller shouldnt be dicking around town on a schoolday, but the audience doesnt care. They want him to lose, and Ferris to win, because Ferris is likeable and Rooney is a cunt.

For some unknown reason, the establishment has decided that the best way to fight the alt-right is to adopt the a rhetoric that sounds exactly like that over-controlling teacher that everyone hates. They are the shouting dad in Twisted Sisters Were Not Gonna Take It. They are Edward Rooney. The alt-right, on the other hand, are the Ferris Buellers of the internet, the merry, likeable pranksters that everyone roots for.

People ask why the alt right has to be so mean and why I make mean remarks about people.

Because its fun! And progressives made it fun by finger wagging.

The Left has demonized and censored people who speak about taboo issues respectfully and seriously. NYU didnt let James Watson speak last week and say what you want about Jared Taylor, hes certainly has a respectful and serious tone. So if youre going to get ostracized for having un-PC views no matter how you present them, why not be an asshole about it?To stop the mayhem, the establishment needs to do one very simple thing: stop punishing people for jokes. Stop punishing people for ideas. And stop other people from doing so as well. The bigger of a taboo you make something, the more attractive it is for young pranksters.

Im going to read out a quote from early alt-right intellectual, the Jewish entrepreneur and writer Curtis Yarvin:

If you spend 75 years building a pseudo-religion around anything an ethnic group, a plaster saint, sexual chastity or the Flying Spaghetti Monster dont be surprised when clever 19-year-olds discover that insulting it is now the funniest fucking thing in the world. Because it is

The establishment has done exactly that. Theyve built a religion around left-wing identity politics, complete with blasphemous words and excommunication. And, surprise surprise, shattering those quasi-religious taboos has become hilarious for a huge section of the youth.

The thing I most hate about the Left is that they want to stop us laughing to prescribe which jokes are okay and which are not okay to make in public and to draw artificial lines around certain subjects. I find all sorts of inappropriate things funny. Islam, trannies, AIDS.

These are all innately hilarious things. Now and again I even enjoy a good rape joke especially if Im the butt of it. Telling me Im not allowed to laugh at something does not make it unfunny.

If you think the alt-right is exaggerating about the seriousness of some of this stuff, let me introduce you to some victims of political correctness.

Theres Justine Sacco, a marketing executive who in 2013 was the subject of a Gawker (Rest in Peace!) story by Sam Biddle (Rest in Peace!).

Biddle drew attention to a single joke made by Sacco, in which she said she was glad to be white while travelling in Africa, as it meant she wouldnt catch AIDS. It was actually meant to be a subtle joke about white privilege, but amazingly, this wasnt properly processed by the towering intellect of Sam Biddle.

Gawkers story went up while Sacco was flying to South Africa. By the time she landed, she had trended on Twitter, been fired from her job, and had her hotel reservation cancelled to boot. Her life was ruined by a tweet, taken out of context by a rogue Gawker editor. Of course, this would never happen to the hundreds of feminists and black activists who tweet Kill All White Men on a daily basis.

Then theres Will Miller. Will was recently threatened with expulsion by his own university because he exposed a cabal of racists on Facebook, with members across Britains elite campuses. His article showed members of the group accusing white people of being insufferably self important all the time, telling white users to shut the fuck up, and targeting the jobs of people who disagreed with them. Naturally, they also targeted him, sending dozens of emails to his tutors at the University of Cambridge, who of course took the side of the racists against their own student, and threatened him with expulsion. His mistake, you see, was exposing the acceptable racists anyone whos not white.

This is Sir Tim Hunt, a British chemist who was working on the cure for cancer before he abruptly became the target of a feminist sting operation.

They deliberately and maliciously took a section of his speech to a room of female South Korean scientists out of context, in which he jokes about women in laboraties falling in love and crying all the time. The comment was meant to mock outdated sexist attitudes, but it was presented by feminists as a serious claim on the part of Tim Hunt.

The lie was swallowed by the academic establishment, which forced Hunt to resign from his position at University College London. It took months and months of relentless efforts from conservatives and moderates to clear his name.

Another scientist who ran afoul of the feminist mafia, Matt Taylors crime was daring to wear a shirt made for him by a friend, Elly Prizeman. The shirt was considered sexist by media feminists, you see. Hot girls are sexist, apparently.

Despite the fact that Taylor and his team of scientists had just made history by successfully landing a spacecraft onto a speeding comet, the media cruelly and maliciously decided to take their moment of pride away from them by focusing on Taylors shirt instead. A giant achievement for mankind took a back seat to the whining of man-hating feminists. Taylor was eventually forced to give a tearful apology on camera.

And these are just three examples. There are countless others. Ive already mentioned James Watson, disinvited from NYU.

There was also Razib Khan, a geneticist who lost an opportunity at the New York Times over his views on human biodiversity, and now writes for the alt-right Unz Review.

These are the people being driven into the arms of the alt-right by the excesses of the left.

As well as jokes, theres something else that establishment elites need to stop demonizing as racism: national pride. During the 2015 election in England, a left-wing candidate for parliament called people who fly the English flag simpletons and casual racists. And this is nothing compared to some of the things said by university academics about displays of national pride.

The globalist elites, who assemble in places like Dubai, Davos, and whatever unfortunate country hosts the Bilderberg Conference, dont have a nation.

Whether theyre from Istanbul, London, or Beijing, global elites tend to dress the same, act the same, talk the same, and think the same. They look at whats different and unique about their home countries, and squirm in embarrassment.

We dont.

If you want to draw people away from the alt-right, this has to stop. If you want to identify with the jet setting, cosmopolitan, nationless elite, thats fine. I like being rich and powerful too.

But stop looking down on people who want to stay true to their roots, and remember the national values and traditions that made our progressive, globalized civilization possible. Because for every national flag you take down to replace it with the faceless and sinister logo of the European Union, the International Olympics Committee or the United Nations, ten more will fly upwards in protest.

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